Benny - My journey of Life

Return from the Dead!

2011-06-22T05:12:00.002+08:00

OMG, how long have I been missing from here? Some ppl even asked me, "Have your blog turned into fossil yet?" Guessed I can't complain much cos its been nearly 2 long years since I last wrote anything. How fast have time flies, I guessed, especially when I'm 2 years older now >.>

It's been nearly a year since I started to "work again", and it was some great experience for myself. I did learnt a lot from my colleagues and I had a great Manager that, despite my poor IQ of merely 80 and noobish character, still teaches me new stuffs day in day out. I guessed that might come at the expense of her vomitting blood everyday?

I still live a normal life though, wake up --> work --> hang out with friends --> sleep, which is a very repetitive routine already. And yes, I still playing World of Warcraft whenever I'm free, hoped to learn Chinese but still too lazy to do that, and finally am trying hard to accumulate money to further my studies.

I'm still single but not available as I already had someone in mind and this future PHD holder knows who she is rite? I will send you the postcards as promised and update this blog more often as promised k? ;)

I guess a first post after all these while should be kept short and simple, so I will end it now before i bored you guys to death.

But wait! I can't just leave without sharing anything great rite? Hmm... lets see.. AHA, I will share a very great and meaningful video with you people k? Here you go:

Remember that life is full of hope and miracle, WHEN YOU HAVE THE BELIEF IN YOURSELF. Cheers!

Of Courag3 and Lov3

2009-11-14T04:33:00.003+08:00

This incident happened when I’m still in primary school. I’m always curious as a kid and love observing the behaviors of insects or animals. Guess this explains why I took up psychology, maybe I was bored of the simplicity of insects and animals, thus decided to observe human instead (how lame rite…). Anyway back to the story…

My previous house used to have a large garden since my mum love gardening. One good thing about having a garden is you’re able to observe insects from near. One fine day, the cute little curious boy in me that was still studying in primary school went to the garden and hoping to catch some spiders or insects as victims pets. When I was near a papaya tree, something attracted my attention. I saw a butterfly attacking a spider (the butterfly was slightly larger in size) and gotten excited by this scene, I continued my observation due to the fact that no logic in this world would explain why a butterfly would want to attack a spider.

The butterfly was trying to ram itself into the spider, as if trying to prevent the spider from climbing further up the tree. The spider somehow retreated slightly, as if it was staring at specific direction and the butterfly moved back to land on a higher part of the tree. Moments later, the spider tried to proceed up the tree and the butterfly began its assault on the spider without hesitation. I start to feel curious due to the fact that the movement of both the spider and butterfly suggested that the spider is trying to reach a certain spot of the tree and the butterfly is trying to prevent that from happening. I did noticed that the spider tried to attack the butterfly but to no avail due to some smart maneuver from the butterfly that uses its wings to repel any potential attack. There was once where the spider took a slight bite on the butterfly but the butterfly managed to fend it off fast. After around 5-10 minutes of fighting, I noticed the butterfly started to get fatigue (I believed the initial bite’s poison start to take its toll on the butterfly’s body).

Being the righteous kid as I always had, I shooed the spider far and away. Stepping backwards as an assurance to the butterfly that everything is fine, I noticed it flew up slightly to the leaf area and landed there. I took a peep and I saw the butterfly and its mate (sorry, can’t differentiate their gender), which appeared rather weak and seemed to be dying pretty soon. This explains why the butterfly had all those courage to crazily attack a spider earlier; it was to protect its mate despite the fact that its mate is clearly dying soon, even though that butterfly faces the danger of getting killed. The butterfly did all those just to buy its mate some extra precious moments of life, and I could not help but to admire the courage and love of that butterfly in taking concern for its mate.

Now I knew why and what it was fighting for. Its courage in attacking a natural predator for its mate’s life had earned itself some extra precious last few moments with its mate. I left the scene soon, still feeling amazed at what I saw.
Since then, I’ve always tried to remember the courage of that butterfly whenever I see huge obstacles facing me. I use that butterfly’s courage as an inspiration and to remind myself that good things are worth fighting for.

End of story---------

Courage is the mental muscle that conquers fear. Like all muscles, the more you use them the stronger they become. Courage is not something you are born with, it must be developed. Individuals that fail to develop courage will always remain confined in their own mental prisons and face each day as mental lightweights.

A little courage leads to more. Observe those poor souls who are without courage. They merely tiptoe through life hoping they make it safely to death. I believed that we were never meant to live that way. Learn to live the way you like by no longer living as you dislike. Forge into the remainder of your day with an abundance of courage. That is what I call, true living.

The below video is a big inspiration that I felt worth watching.

How they saw things.
The vision they had.
And what they were going to do to get there.
Just like you and I.
We all can choose to live beyond the average if we dare.

p/s: This post is dedicated to a good friend that is celebrating her 22nd years old birthday today. It is my hope that she's able to do a breakthrough in her current life and garnered enough courage to seek what she wants. All the best in life and happy 22nd birthday ;)

The real satisfaction

2009-11-01T19:47:00.002+08:00

Dedicating this post to Arnie since i promised her to write something here today hehe.

I've adopted the habit of observing and trying to analyze people (not girl's boob or arse, mind u) in terms of their behavior ever since taking up psychology. Sounds creepy rite? But hey, I lub doing that :P

One important thing I noticed was how people define satisfaction in their life that contributes to their own self-esteem. I've come across people that were rich, or people that were extremely pretty but yet they wasn't satisfied with their life. In fact, these people assumed they had achieved little or nothing in life and thus feeling down and suffered from low self-esteem.

Don't believe it? Lemme ask you this and answer to these questions frankly based on what you know about yourself, or even those people that you know that you might know or come across:

a) You're a pretty girl by public eyes and have lots of admirers. People have been praising your beauty very much, and you do feel happy with those praises. Yet, you've been suffering from low self-esteem and assumed that you didn't really achieve much in life.

b) You're quite a public figure (those in entertainment or political field), where your fans spurns from hundreds to thousands. People acknowledge your achievement, people praises you immensely and you can afford to buy goods or gifts that you like, yet you feel those admiration doesn't reflect or mean anything to you. You just feel you didn't achieve much in life.

c) You're the showstopper and always one of the main attraction in the crowd wherever you go. People glued to you because you made them cheer and laugh their arse out, you create fun and great atmosphere and always able to light up even the most dull occasion. You're well-known because of this and people just love being by your side. Despite these public acceptance, you never quite feel satisfied and feel down whenever you're by yourself. You feel you didn't achieve much in life.

d) You're what I call, the reincarnation of an angel. You're known to be the perfect man or woman when it comes to friendship. You're known amongst your friend as the most gentlemen (or gentlelady), humble, down-to-earth, and the extremely helpful lad that never reject helping people in need, thus winning you a group of small but great friends. Despite having this great bunch of people around you whenever you need them or otherwise, yet you feel you didn't achieve much in life.

The above 4 scenarios above are just some example of people I've come across that felt themselves as, "just another person that didn't achieve much in life" despite them possessing beauty, and/or material goods, and/or social recognition. The question why is easily answered, and it was due to the fact that they are not able to link their success to their inner soul.

What do i mean by this you might ask. Lemme give an example. When you come across a great song or movie that you've heard or seen, you can really feel this song or movie have some kind of emotional link to your inner soul. You can feel the link is so great till the extent you can feel the emotion that the singer and/or songwriter is trying to portray out to its listener. And yes, these kind of songs can last for centuries and yet the listener will never feel dull listening to it. Reason? Because you had managed to link that song to your inner soul, thus able to appreciate whatever it was being sang to you, and such appreciation DO last for years if not forever.

Another example was, you might be yearning to get the latest model of laptop or handphone. Let's say you finally got it, and for sure you will feel happy for a week or so. Afterward, that laptop or handphone is just another "one of your many items" that you owned, and do you feel proud and happy after buying it? Yes, you do, but only for like a week or so as I've pointed out but definitely not for long. This is why people that gained satisfaction via material goods are never satisfied, and this could be attributed to newer models are always out in the market or most of them never been able to link these material collections to their inner soul. One exception though are those hardcore collectors of a particular item, e.g. Gundam series models.

What I wanted to point out was most people failed to relate their achievement to their inner soul, and thus they never felt their achievement is something to be proud of. Jealousy can be one of the reason, but the main reason could be deep inside you have this betrayer that keep belittle your own achievement. And sad to say, nobody actually betrays yourself more than you because you will never feel sad if you don't allow yourself to do so.

Gaining the real satisfaction is how you balance yourself and get rid of the betrayer in you while trying to link your success to yourself. Such balance is important in order not to get overly carried away by your achievement and to always stay humble in order to gain more success.

Hope this post helps ^_^

Underweight ISN'T more attractive!

2009-10-29T23:28:00.003+08:00

Been quite sometime since i last updated this blog, i guess my course mates understand why haha. No, busy is definitely not an excuse, it's just me being lazy. Satisfied? :P

Anyway, I've come across this interesting report and thought of sharing it out, so nice of me rite? Another thing is copy n paste while giving credits to the original source allows this lazy blog owner to laze off ma hehe. Hope you find the report as useful as I do :)

Young men find "normal" sized women more attractive than size zero celebrities, research has suggested.

Male students at St Andrews University were asked to rate female faces for attractiveness and health.

The study found that girls with an average weight and build were ranked as being the most attractive and healthy.

Researchers said the findings sent out a strong message to young women who believe being underweight is considered to be attractive.

The research was carried out by a team from the university's Perception Lab, who asked 84 female students a variety of questions on their health, took their blood pressure and photographed them.

The photographs were then shown to a group of male students who were asked to rate them for health, attractiveness and weight.

Professor David Perrett, who supervised the project, said: "In our study, people in the normal weight range were judged healthier and more attractive than under or overweight individuals.

"This sends a strong message to all the girls out there who believe you have to be underweight to be attractive.

"The people making judgments in our study were all between the ages of 18 and 26 and they did not rate underweight girls most attractive. They preferred normal weight girls."

Lead researcher Vinet Coetzee said although people often often remark on how healthy or unhealthy someone looks, it can be very difficult to say precisely how we know this.

'Already suffering'

She added: "Scientists have been trying to answer this question for decades, and have made many breakthroughs in our understanding of health and attractiveness, but until now they have tended to overlook the influence of weight."

Ms Coetzee said students who were rated as being overweight reported more frequent and longer-lasting cold and flu bouts, used antibiotics more frequently and had higher blood pressure than the students who were considered normal weight.

"Even at this young age, their health was already suffering because they were overweight, and what is more, other people can spot this in their face," she added.

The findings have been published online by the scientific journal Perception.

Source

Hope this finding will change the mindset of those of you who are already on normal weight but still insists to reduce more. Adios~

Be more positive!

2009-10-07T22:43:00.000+08:00

Human always cry and whine during the darkest hour in their life. Yet they had forgotten that stars can only be seen when the sky is dark or rainbow can only be sighted after a rainy day.

Beefkuteh aka Beef's Bakuteh

2009-09-28T23:11:00.009+08:00

I came to this shop 1 year ago and immediately fall in love with it (I mean the food!!!). After much pestering (plus my lack of going back to Melaka), my "ahmad" finally brought me once again during our recent Raya Holiday.

*Place is full when we arrived*

We reached this place around 7.30pm and the whole place is full! There were at least 2 other groups ahead of us in the queue so ya, me and my friend were waiting patiently (not to mention hungrily) for over 30 minutes before we get a seat. Trust me, it sux to see people enjoying their yummy beef slices for over 30 minutes while you were standing near the roadside with your tummy protesting like crazy.

*Uncle busy preparing foods for loads of gluttons including both of us*

Me and my friend ordered 2 cans of 100plus a pot of beefkuteh for 2 while adding extra beef balls and fried foo chuk. Trust me, you really need to be patient to eat here cos it may take like 15-30 minutes before our food were served onto our table.

*Aww, finally the food, the delicious, the yummeh*

Finally our beefkuteh arrived, its a well portioned pot of beef slices, beef balls, foo chuk and cabbages served with 2bowls of rice. The soup isn't the typical bakuteh soup you eat, it have a strong scent of black pepper but the taste is just nice. Best part was the beef slices were not overly cooked. You can taste the tenderness of the meat that comes with little fat that blended nicely with the soup.

Total cost was RM36, but trust me, this pot of beefkuteh can easily feed up to 4-5 people. You must really try this especially during rainy season.

Info:
Place's Name: Loi's Bakuteh and Beef Stall
Address: 6022C, Jalan Penghulu Abbas, Bukit Baru, Melaka
Business Hour: 6.00pm till 10.30pm
GPS Location: N2 13.742 E102 16.624

Black or White?

2009-09-20T16:07:00.004+08:00

A deep sigh of breath was heard... Ace had been wandering on the street without any purpose for the past 1 day, still thinking of the sudden change of life he had faced.

*1 month ago*
Ace had always been an excellent cop. Known for his strong standing and great sense of justice principles, he never gives up on any cases. Today was yet another day he had solve another big case, adding another extra achievement to his already reputable career as a police officer. He has been holding to those principles all these while, believing that justice will always prevail and all trials will be handled in a fair and square manner. He's currently hard-tracking a team of professional robbers called Skyliners.

*8 days ago*
Ace had been suspended from his job indefinately. He was suspected to be involved in a series of robbery involving Skyliners. His gun was found in one of the crime scene and CCTV caught his images in another robbery. Yet Ace argued it was a setup to discontinued his efforts in investigating Skyliners.

*2 days ago*
Internal investigation within police had decided to charge Ace as a collaborative partner of Skyliners. Ace, crying foul over this setup disbelief that his innocence was ignored especially after his years of commitment towards the police force. He felt his belief in justice was greatly shattered and he can no longer trust the principles that he uphold all these while.

*1 day ago*
Ace was being deported to a detention centre. Inside the police van, he saw a driver and another cop guarding him. The cop, raising his cap showed a familiar face to Ace. It was Andy, his ex-partner and most trusted comrade in the police force for the past 5 years. Both had saved each other's life on numerous occassion before Andy disappeared 6 months ago. Andy said he was working for a powerful political figure now due to his disappointment with corruption within the police force and juridical system in the country. Ace disbelieved this fact, but Andy cited Ace's case as an example of corruption within higher police ranks to shut Ace's investigation on Skyliners.

Andy offered Ace a solution, to work for the political figure and his boss will use his political influence to cover up Ace's case and restore his status as a police officer. Ace argued that Andy's boss had a record of illegal tradings and links with triads, and working with this political figure means breaking all the faith and principle Ace had been holding all these while. Andy slapped Ace and told him how his so-called principles had landed him into troubles that he faced today. Andy then helped Ace escape from the police van and asked him to think properly before letting Andy know his own decision.

*Current time*
Ace had a short sigh and showed a confuse face on whether to stick to his principles or belief which is to surrender himself to the police station or to take up the offer from the devil which totally defies his usual beliefs.

Tada, the End!!

I guess there are many times in life where we might faced the above scenario, where whether we should sacrifice what we believed in or to hold onto it regardless of situation. Decisions like these are definately not easy to make, especially when an incident really shatters what you've been holding onto all these while.

Such incident happened to me recently, but I guessed I've learned from it where there are times we need to change and adept our beliefs according to situation.

How about u?

Final Semester!

2009-09-03T22:21:00.002+08:00

Just did some minor revamp due to my laziness... Wanted to do a purely html coding revamp but guessed i'm just too lazy or its due to my new semester had just begun 2 days ago (such a good reason rite?). Previous semester's grade is ok, not great mainly caused i targeted slightly higher. Grade for thesis 1 isn't out, hopefully it will be released somewhere next week according to some admin staff.

Wishing everyone to have a nice semester ahead and good luck to all. ;)

Time to Revamp!!

2009-07-27T02:48:00.002+08:00

I guess I will start blogging again after all these lazy time. But before that, i will try to revamp the outlook of my blog first haha, the page design is kinda ugly *puts the blame on blogspot for not having cool functions like wretch did which causes me to feel lazy updating this blog =x.

Check it out later, and hasta la vista.

Tagged...

2009-05-07T01:53:00.006+08:00

by Lee Susu, i mean Cheryl Lee

Here's the direction:
Once you've been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about you. At last, choose five people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them.

1. I always love adventures, which explains why I like to travel around and experience new stuffs (didnt have the chance to travel that much though :().

2. Its a rare case for guys, but hey, orange is my favorite color ;)

3. Loves spending time on my own. I always like to go to mall or movies alone.

4. Always have a rumoured gf ever since i started studying in HELP. But i do fall for one, only ONE so far. As for the rest, its only what you think :(

5. I love gaming... Its in me and part of me. Almost 70% of what I know, English included were learnt from various games.

6. I'm super lucky with gambling. 2 wins out of 4 bets in Magnum/Toto, winning money every CNY cept one year and claiming a 4:1 win ratio over Uncle Lim hehe. Either lady luck must've really love me or I've done multiple good deeds in the past *shiok sendiri*

7. Is definately one of the laziest person u've ever known. Those that knows me well understand this lol.

8. Loves materials that requires myself to use deeper level of cognitive processing. <3 Kindaichi comics...

9. Is definately one hell of a cocky bastard if u dunno me at first. Cos i won't take the initiative to say hi to u, or maybe just give u a cold response even if u say hi first.

10. Most of my closer friends are females. *wink wink*

11. Loves Foodsssssssssss (see how many Ss i put? that shows how much i love foods :().....

12. A big fan of Arsenal football club.

13. Admires people who is capable of looking things at many different perspectives (in an intelligent manner of cos).

14. The kind of people you will call Jack of all Trade, master of none cos I don't specialize in things that I know *except for gaming!*.

15. I have deep curiousity and tend to find out the reason behind *something*.

16. Always uses my intuition and deduction reasoning when making decisions. Not so much of a stats or detailed person.

Phew, finally... now lets see who i wanna choose to be the next 5 victims ngiak ngiak ngiak...

Catherine: didn't really see u write much about urself.

Hui Ling: ppl often misunderstand u at first, so its a good chance to clear their doubts? :P

Jan-E: Just wish to hear from this old friend ;)

Ling Chih: been quite awhile since last heard from you. take this as a chance to update me about urself lol.

Mei Sim: dont think i ever see u blogged in English before. give you the chance to do it now so fast fast thank me k? :P

ReBlogging?

2009-05-07T01:38:00.001+08:00

It’s been quite awhile since I last updated this baby. Guess I was too busy, lazy or even forgotten that I’ve this blog? Heh, it doesn’t matter anyway. Was very glad that my 1st semester in year 3 is finally over. 6 subjects together with your other life thingy is indeed no joke and guess I gotta pray to god that I’m still in one piece hehe. But college is reopening soon, too soon cos time passes by so fast… if anyone knows a timekeeper, pls let him/her know that he/she will have a loyal customer in me… want to buy time!!!

Lots of freaking things take place in the past few months, but I guess those events were necessary to help me to grow? Maybe yes, maybe no, only time will tell. But a new semester is beginning soon, a rather busy one again cos I will be taking 4 subjects since some were only offered this semester. All the best to everyone, see you guys soon ;)

Story of the sea...

2009-03-04T22:57:00.002+08:00

This story begins long before man develop airplanes. Anna and Eva are the best of friends. Both of them have the same dream, to become the world's first explorer to go around the world in a ship. Upon reaching 30, both of them set sailed (don't ask me where they get the ship and skill, that's not the main purpose of the story) together with their ship, Happy Ever, hoping to achieve their childhood dream together.

And so 5 years have passed. They have brave countless waves, whirpool and sea storms, and travelled to various countries and continents and meeting up with countless people in the process. They're very near in achieving their goals, and after all these years, had finally arrived in a country called Poland, best known for having the best shipwrights (in case you dunno, its carpenter that repairs or build ships) in the world. Happy Ever is quite worn out after all these years as there was no major repair being done on the ship all these while, and thus Anna and Eva thought it would be a good idea to find some shipwrights to do a throughly inspection on their ship's condition.

After a careful evaluation, they were told that Happy Ever can no longer be repaired, as its keel (the main structure at the bottom of every ship) is spoilt, thus making any repair deemed meaningless. Anna and Eva feels very reluctant since they have developed a very strong bond with Happy Ever after all these years of travelling together, persuaded the shipwright to try his best to repair the ship since both explorers had nearly completed their goal and would like to accomplish it together with Happy Ever.

The shipwright explained that despite the ship seems fine on the outside, yet the wear and tear on the main structure unseen to them is already beyond repair. He even advised both explorers to get a new ship for safety purposes.

Anna and Eva sat down at a nearby tavern to discuss the situation, and Anna favoring getting a new ship while Eva persists to continuing travelling with Happy Ever. Eva said that, even though Happy Ever is just a ship, yet they have travelled together and encountered various situation all these while and they shouldn't abandon the ship when they nearly reached their goal. Both friends ended up arguing and trying to send each other's message across, but it only ended up in greater arguement.

Both friends departed their way, with Anna getting a new ship while Eva is asking her crewman to repair Happy Ever. 2 weeks later, both friends travelled separately for the first time, and Anna reached her final destination 6 months later. She tried to seek information about Eva but didn't find any, and 1 month later she saw in newspaper that Happy Ever had been swept over by a strong tidal wave while the fate of all crews were unknown.

I guess I'm more of the Eva character all these while, not able to let go things that I treasured in the past, and thus didn't really end up "that well" in some sense (don't ask me, i dunno haha). Guess it's time to take up the Anna character for now.

Current Life and Memories...

2009-02-06T23:29:00.004+08:00

Life had been a hectic one for me in the past 1 month. Works seemed to be endless, they keep pilling up more and more and I guess I kinda lost my life; many nights without good rest, many hours facing the comp, and there's only work and more work in my brain. Sigh... I guess such life won't stop till the end of this semester since assignments are pilling up for now, not to mention mid-terms are coming.

I didn't feel pressured all these while, but I believed subconsciously I do feel the pressure cos there are times where my mind only think about my work. So much so that sometimes i wake up on my own even when i just had 3-4 hours of sleep. Lack of rest can make a grumpy person, plus the fact that there was one recent event that really gives me a big impact... my ex's dad had just passed away last month when she just recovered from her depression... Sigh...

Whenever I think back of her history of depression, I do feel afraid maybe cos I'm a psychology student myself and I know pretty well how a depress person will think and act. And ya, I do blame myself heavily for being part of the cause of her depression every now and then, mainly because I wasn't there for her when she needs me, and worst still, I didn't even know she had depression till it got pretty serious! Such a lousy bf rite? I guess part of me can't really forgive myself for partially contributing such sickness to her especially now after knowing her dad's news... There is no way I can help her for now cos... I guess she would like to keep a distant between us which is understandable... Sigh, all i can do is to pray she will be fine, and trust her that she will be able to take good care of herself.

I hardly talk about my real feelings to people, dun ask me why. People always see me as a jovial person, and jovial is indeed my nature. Yet there are times when I do feel kinda demotivated due to the lousy ways I handled some of my things. I once told a friend how to let go, but I guess I'm heavily imprisoned by some of my past. Overly strong principles, stubbornness, and some stupid schemas were what the past had shaped me. As much as I tried to change, yet this 'Lucifer' in me will just pop out whenever I start to lose myself sometimes.

Last month I had a very silly heated arguement with my pet sis over some small matter, cos of this. This week again, I had a very big misunderstanding with a close friend of mine due to some of my stupid action due to my principles again. As much as I tried to control, it seemed that there are times where I will just revert back to my old-self without me knowing it consciously. It sux, really sux cos I guess I might have lost 2 very good friends in the period of one month.

I'm not sure if I can remedized the situation, nor I'm not sure if we will still be as close as in the past, but one thing for sure is I would really need to learn to let go my past and memories. Wish me all the best...

Four Letter Word... "SIGH"

2009-01-12T00:07:00.002+08:00

I sigh cos how things are so unfair for you...

I sigh at the chain events that keep befalling into a person that don't deserve all such shits...

I sigh cos I can't do anything at all to help your current situation...

I sigh cos I was partly the reason you got your sickness in the past...

I sigh cos I didn't do enough for you in the past...

I sigh...

How cruel can life be? Why must a nice person like you kept experiencing shitty life events. Why? I really can't understand...

Is cruelty such an important essence in life? It could be true to some extend, but how cruel when bad things keep happened on someone that doesn't deserve it? Is this the way of the world? I really can't understand...

I wish there are things that I can do to help your situation, but I really dunno what I can do except sending you regards and asking those I knew to look after you. I wished I can do more, as a close friend, to share some of your burden. I heard you're strong, but please don't try too hard to be strong k?

I really wish to know your situation and hope things are better for you and your family. Lemme know if there is anything I can do for you...

What Lies Ahead?

2009-01-10T01:17:00.002+08:00

Another year had passed, and a new one had begun. This means that I'm another year older (duh). Meh, not as though I'm concerned about age, I guess that's something we guys can hoo haa and shout about (sorry girls).

Finally in my final year of my degree course, the weird thing is I'm still not exhausted after these few years of studying. Reason? Cos I hate to study since... sec school? But glad I still didn't lose the passion for psychology hehe, if not sure fail like crazy.

I would always like to do something memorable and extraordinary once in awhile, and guess this will be the year I'll try something new. To catch up with life while learning along the journey and those around me.

Happy New Year to everyone btw.

Holiday

2008-12-23T15:30:00.005+08:00

it has been ages since i last updated this blog. assgn, exams, life stuff and jobs keep me busy all this while, and guess i didn't manage to enjoy or spend time during this holiday as how i intended it to be.

so many things had happened in the past 2 months, in fact its quite funny when i looked back at it. nonetheless life is all about moving forward instead of looking back, thus i guess there are times when you have no choice but to put what's in the past behind you. pretty sad though at times considering stupid things do happen no matter how well you try to avoid them, i guess that's all part of learning in life.

regardless of things, i guess this holiday is quite enjoyable due to few things:

a) more $$ opportunity lately and in the near future wahahaha, who won't want them rite?
b) a good plan is up, all it matters is the execution. and yea, the plan is about earning $$$ also lmao.
c) another semester is over, 3 more to go. finally i'm a final year student next sem. can't wait to finish the course though to ease my family's burden.

oh well, being a final year student means i will need to buck up even more. having said that for the past few semester without really bucking up, hopefully i'm 'more' determine this time around. oh well... =/

btw i did have a go at Jogoya last tuesday and honest speaking, that place failed miserably. poor food variation, expensive price tags and a 'discrimination' form of service where only VIP can order certain foods make it a no no buffet place for me in the near future. dont get me wrong, it's a great place if you like sashimi; their fresh big oyster is fresh, nice salmon and other kind of sashimi but that's about what Jogoya is all about. its other food quality wasn't really that fantastic, its haagen dazs ice-cream selection don't have any spectacular flavor, poor food variation with so so taste, and worse of all, its 2 person seater is so crampy. oh well...

but there was one funny thing that happened before me and a friend went to Jogoya. both of us went to the toilet to avoid the hassle of going out to find a toilet in the middle of buffet (better save the time to snap up more foods rite lol). when i'm out of the toilet, i noticed my friend smsed me saying she was stucked inside the toilet and asked me to help her out. but hey, i'm a guy le. takkan i bump into the female's toilet meh rite? later ppl thought i'm some sort of "color wolf" mai ng hou la. luckily she was 'released' by some nice ppl and we had a good laugh. funny things do happen once in awhile.

i'll be back to melaka later tonight tumpang-ing a friend's car. it's been quite awhile since i was last back home and it would be nice to spend a quiet christmas with my family members.

merry christmas and happy new year people, hope next year is a better year for all of you. see you all next year ;)

Farewell and Goodbye

2008-11-21T10:08:00.002+08:00

Two years had passed in the split of an eye. I can still remember the day I step into the Intensive English Language Lvl 6 class (pls believe it, I was required to study a very shitty ENGLISH course in HELP before pursuing my degree) and everyone's face is so alien to me back then.

I guess it is still funny to think back how fast we clicked along and become really good friends. I will miss all the jalan-jalan cari makan and steamboat session with you, but at least I'm glad you've completed what you should do here in Malaysia.

All the best in your future undertaking and goodbye.

Umbrella story

2008-11-14T01:35:00.003+08:00

The once bright sky has been covered by black cloud. A little girl was walking alone on her home. She quicken her steps and walk even faster to avoid getting wet by the rain. The rain suddenly pours heavily and the girl run to the nearest shelter. She saw an umbrella lying on the ground and decided to pick it up since it belongs to noone.

She uses the umbrella and it covers her all these while under the rain willingly without any complain. Having the hope of finding a good owner, the umbrella does its best in what it does, sheltering the little girl even under the heaviest rain even if it meant of sacrificing itself one way or another.

After running for quite sometime, she stopped at a spot to get some rest while holding the umbrella. She smiled at the umbrella and this makes the umbrella to feels happy thinking it was the hint that a good owner had been found. After awhile, she continues her journey home which is around 1km away.

When she nears home, the rainy day had passed and a rainbow is shining beautifully on the sky. She saw her home, feeling happy and wipe herself dry before going into the house. She suddenly remembers something and make a back turn to the opposite way of the main entrance. Flipping the umbrella, she threw it away on the ground before going back happily into her house. The umbrella, feeling disappointed, lies on the ground to wait for another worthy owner.

Things That Can't Be Forced...

2008-11-11T03:20:00.003+08:00

I don't like gardening, but let's take some moment to talk about plants. The goal of gardening is to grow your plant of choice into a big, beautiful and healthy plant. In the process of growing that plant, you will water it, putting fertilizer, putting your plan to face the sun or even spray some pesticides to prevent insects from damaging part of the plant. There are times when your effort pays off and your plant grow up into a big and beautiful pot of... ya, plant. But there are times where the plant simply won't grow and some might even die regardless what you do, how hard you tried and the effort you put into gardening.

I guess that just showed the power of nature; there are things that can't be forced and it will remain the way it is no matter how hard you tried and whatever you do just won't change the simplest of thing. Taking a walk into the park and you will realize that there are plants that will grow by themselves without needing any cultivation.

This makes me think, why don't just let nature take its course?

Poor Self-Regulation

2008-10-28T02:19:00.003+08:00

It's been quite sometime since I last updated my blog, was pretty busy with school life (just an excuse ok, not really that busy la). For some weird reason, I love delaying my assignments and finish them off in a short. U can say i like the thrill of completing stuff in the nick of time, and I guess that's why my aha moment always come whenever I do assignment during the last few days.

Yup, such thrill feeling does triggers my brain to work (not the sex thrill pls, dont misunderstood), thus I would say working in an environment where you always need to race against time will suit me best.

But again, to some extent, could I had use this excuse far too many times in delaying my work? By saying doing thing last minute gives me the adreline rush to develop great ideas had given me a reason to delay my work most of the time. Or I guess I was just not discipline enough to work things out according to what I plan (poor self-regulation).

Oh well, I guess we all know our weaknesses, but lack the discipline or courage to face it or change ourselves. Nonetheless, I will try my best to correct this weakness of mine, I've been saying far too long on this issue so I would just let my action speaks. Gambateh to myself wahaha... thx for da support!

Thx for all your wishes!

2008-10-10T10:18:00.003+08:00

Many thx to all my friends that gave me a suprise birthday party on my birthday 12am sharp into the swimming pool haha. Sorry for this late post as I can't connect to my blog for the past few days, but I really appreciate your presence and the celebration, many thanks again.

And thx to everyone that wished for my birthday. Thx and love u all.

Money no Enough? Look here

2008-10-02T03:42:00.003+08:00

Many students are trying to earn some extra pocket money just like myself here due to higher living expenses, failing which I might be starring in the next Money no Enough 3 buatan Malaysia as the main character liao. I did browse the Internet for such job opportunities every now and then, and in case you guys are curious, I hereby compiled a list popular part time job among students:

1. Teaching/Tutoring

Your main responsibility or job is to teach or tutor students, usually from primary school level till secondary school level, depending on your level of competency as well as knowledge on a particular subject. The number of students might vary from 1 to a small group of 5-10 students, and you have the option to teach for a tuition centre or doing home tuition.

This job is quite easy to find by introducing yourself to your nearest tuition centre and it usually offers quite a nice starting salary, minimum RM 20.00 per hour per student most of the time. This job is definitely one of the most popular jobs among students, at least from what I know.

2. Part-time/Roadshow Promoter

Your job is basically to promote a particular product for a company and/or to achieve a certain sales target whenever you’re called upon, usually during weekends, public holiday or special events. As you’re only called when required, this job gives you a great deal of flexibility and it’s extremely suitable for those who didn’t like to commit into a long-term part-time job.

This job can be found nearly everywhere, internet, friends, agents as well as blogs, and it does offer a nice salary that ranges from RM60-RM130 or more per day depending on project and experiences. Working hours can be long and finding a good job at first could be hard, but it pays off when you worked well because the same agent/company tend to find you again when they are impressed by your earlier performance. As such, this is one of those jobs that will keep coming back at you when you performed or bodek well, which gives u the power to be cocky or lansi and reject jobs that you deemed low paid or long working hours.

3. Freelance Writing

If your English is bad, please skip this section because it can save at least 3 minutes of your life. I believe you have better things to do with your 3 minutes rite? The writer is required to have at least a strong command in that language, even mine is considered inadequate for this job *cry*. There are quite a number of people posting online to find freelance writers every now and then for stuffs like advertising copy for brochures, product and technical manuals and other literary products.

Some job providers fixed a price for each article; let’s say a review about an electronic product for around 300-400 words could fetch you from RM5 – RM20, depending on your standard of work or experiences. Some jobs such as writing a user manual for certain product could fetch a higher price and you can quote a good price for your work. It is important to know that you should not overprice your work because your customers can always find someone else. You should also not put too low of a price since people tend to think low price means poor quality. Don’t ask me why because I can’t tell why we tend to think like that. Just quote sensibly and you can always get returning customers. This is a recommended job for those who like to earn money from home, but be warned that datelines for each article tend to be kind of rush, so you need to have high commitment for this job.

4. Handicraft

This is not a job for anyone especially if your work in arts really sux since your schooling days. It takes more than creativity and patience as well as some skills in art and decoration to really earn good money in this job. Despite that, you don’t have to be Leonardo Da Vinci when considering this job. The important thing is that you have good observation whenever you go out because that’s when you can see some new or great ideas to be incorporated into your work. It’s also important for you to have a strong interest in collecting unique handicraft products and other collectibles.

Seriously I didn’t know much about how much you can earn considering the raw materials can be really expensive, but I’ve known some people who earn a bunch from this job, I guess they are really good business and artistic people. Definitely worth a try if you want extra pocket money and have a strong interest in art stuff.

5. Project research & Assignment

This is one of my favorite jobs in the past. Some might think I’m kinda crazy to recommend this job when some of you did complained you don’t even have enough time for your assignments. This job could be one of the most grueling jobs a student can undertake since most of your customers will have high demands on your work, which tend to have a rather short deadline, but I can guarantee you that the reward payment is worth all the effort you put in. I won’t give you the market price for each job, but the payment is really good haha.

Being a researcher, as how I like to address this job since it sounds very professional, has 3 important criteria; a) good command of English (now you know how important it is to have good English rite haha), b) able to find accurate and relevant information within short period of time, c) able to compile and document your information according to specific format or requirement.

Research is not an easy job and tends to take quite some effort and time to complete it, thus people, and I mean many people (normally students, if you understand what I mean) wouldn’t mind to pay someone really good money for research work.

All you are required to do is to get the right information in the shortest time possible, arrange those information, compile and lastly document it. You also need to ensure that the sources and origin of information are kept in tact by following a specific referencing system such as Harvard Referencing system or America Psychology Association system.

The above jobs are only some example that I provided. Of course there are many more jobs such as web designing, graphic design and so on, but those might require some special skills that are not easy to learn. Jobs like home typist are also an option, but the pay is quite low for the time you put in and home typists are not that high in demand as well. Nonetheless you can always do a google search to find more information about jobs that interest you or some money making opportunities.

Hope this info helps! ^_^

Virtual World

2008-09-29T01:48:00.004+08:00

Internet had offered a very different life for younger generations compared to our parent's life 30 to 40 years ago. Checking e-mail, online messaging, blogging, e-book, downloading movies, songs or application as well as online gaming has been part of the life in most young people today. I can consider myself as a "senior" in this aspect considering I had exposed myself in this virtual world for nearly 10 years.

From an internet rookie that visited various sites, dont know what is google, getting loads and loads of viruses from websites (including p0rn sites, I do admit it since I'm honest) and learning along the way on how to utilize what's being offered in an unknown great blue sea called the internet till now, at least I have the basic knowledge to find what I want in a secured manner and at least manage to utilize it properly to serve the need of my life (no more p0rn though lol).

One of the greater evolution on the internet is to make people socialize and connecting people (sorry to Nokia for borrowing their quote) in the form of online chat program, VOIP (voice over internet protocol, which basically means u can speak online for free) as well as online gaming. One would hailed the internet for making all this possible, but isit for better or worst?

Using online gaming as an example, Starcraft 2 in year 1998 and Diablo 2 in year 2000 by Blizzard was the 2 pioneer game that drive online gaming to a whole new level. This 2 games brought birth to other MMOPRGs such as Ragnarok Online, Lineage 2, World of Warcraft, Guildwar, Sims 2 and more and more games that offered gamers the chance to explore and interact in the virtual world. Initial games like Diablo 2 only introduce a traditional gaming concept, which means the game mechanic is build in such a way where players will tend to concentrate on raising the level of their characters, pvping against one another, hack and slash monster and trying to become the stronger player/guild in a particular server.

Ragnarok Online by Gravity in 2001 however, introduced a very different gaming concept, which basically offered players better chances to socialize with one another with cute emoticons, dresses and accessories as well as the chance to marry online. This concept attracted a different genre of gamers, not those who are interested in traditional hack n slash game but those that like to socialize online. Many critics hailed this new concept, and future games such as Lineage 2 did adopt such concept to a certain extent.

Despite the success of this concept, I, however never think this as a very positive move in terms of psychology development of these young gamers. Past research had shown that online gamers, at least 80% or more were categorized as "seriously addicted" gamers, and these gamers can spent up 10 hours or more just playing the game. Let's not talk about health first since we all know how bad it is when you faced the monitor for more than 10 hours each day while ignoring other stuffs, but the important thing I've yet to mention is some of these gamers dwelved too deep in their "virtual life" while ignoring much of their reality life.

Imagining dedicating alot of time in a virtual world that they consider to be safe, pretending to be another character, befriending strangers that could ulterior motives, and doing online dating and marriage when a youngster had yet to expose themselves enough in reality life. How could this affect their later life? There were reports that showed that some youngsters dwelved too deep into online gaming till they can't differentiate reality and virtual world, which is pretty frightening if you asked me. I did an experiment in an local online game and you won't believed how easily I can get the handphone of few girls in less than 1 hour.

It's not as though I'm condeming online gaming, since I was an online gamer myself few years ago and thus I can speak from my experience based on what I observed and from chats from my online friends. Its just that most youngsters might not be able to discipline themselves enough to separate the differences between virtual and reality world, and some youngsters, especially those who lack of friends or those with lower self-esteem would adopt a totally opposite personality online to make them feel better. The main issue is, how would that help with this youngster's psychological development? Would it help, or would it make matters worst since the problem with the youngster wasn't solved at all. As this particular youngster will feel safer and more secure in virtual world with a totally different character, how will that help them when they are facing the reality world later? Surely it could bring negative effects to them, at least in terms of psychological development right?

As such, it is important to have a balance between play, fun and addicted especially when it comes to online gaming. And as a future psychologist, hopefully there are enough researches done in this area to bring more awareness and to help more and more youngsters that are getting more and more addicted in this genre of gaming.

We do hope we can make a difference.

Deception

2008-09-19T00:52:00.003+08:00

Life is like a drama as many people said. Which explains why most of us are wearing a social mask aka "persona" when interacting with other people. Some act to be cute, some act to be friendly, some act to be tough, some act to be cool and the list goes on...

The main question now would be, is it necessary to pretend to be someone else or to adopt a totally different behavior when you are meeting or socializing with someone else? In most cases, I would say it is necessary. The society nowadays has lesser tolerance towards those who tried to act out of norm, such as positive criticism even it were for the benefit of the listener. You can say it's weird, but I guess people nowadays need too much about feeling good about themselves till the extend they don't mind to be blinded by lies if those lies can make them feel good, but they most likely don't tolerate criticism even if those criticism helps them one way or another.

Anyone who don't obey such social norms might ended up being booted out from a group or being left out of anything. Humans are social beings afterall, and I guess such punishment is abit too harsh for most of us, and most people have no choice but to 'act' with one another, just like the saying "if you can't beat them, join them".

It's very weird, but for some reason, most people only dwelve deeper and deeper in something even when they know it's wrong. Humans are weird huh, and I guess that what makes each of us more 'interesting'.

Is Trying My Best Even Enough?

2008-09-17T21:11:00.004+08:00

Help... how much help can I actually provide? I used to think by trying your best, u can always make a difference for others but I guess that thinking was bit too naive. Certain events lately make me realized that there are times when you can't make too much of a difference despite trying your best to help someone in their problem. Its really some regret, but I guess sometimes you can't help it, at least I tried my best rite?

I can only hope that time can reveal a better path for these people and allow them to see my points all along. May the force be with you! ^_^

The Relationship Tree

2008-09-15T00:16:00.003+08:00

Everyone had a relationship with someone the second they were borned. Mother, father, siblings, auntie or uncle, and the list goes on...

Regardless of any relationship we are in, it takes great effort from both parties to let the relationship grow, or die... Taking a plant as an example, we need to water, loosen its soil (some even believed music helps plant to grow, I had no idea for now though), spraying it pesticide sometimes to ensure the plant grow up big and strong. It takes a mutual combination of how much the plant needs (water, soil, sunshine, etc) as well as how much we gave the plant that determine how well the plant grows.

Overdoing it, such as too much watering might caused the plant to die, using pesticide might caused some plant to die are just some examples of how mutual understanding in meeting the needs of the plant aka relationship determines how it grows.

When a plant grows up big and strong like the coconut tree, it can withstand the strongest of wind. However, a weak plant will only leads to death and decay, and no remedy in the world can heal it. I guess that was the cruel nature of this world, but again, we always have the choice to pick up a new plant and grow it up all over again.

All the best to you my dear friend!

The End of a Long Holiday and the Beginnng of A New Semester!

2008-09-06T10:35:00.005+08:00

It has been quite sometime since i last updated my blog, guess I was enjoying my life too much during the holiday haha; socializing and meeting up with friends for fun and activities, freelance job, internship, famine 30 hours, boiling vcds (it was dvds actually) and more!

Famine 30 hours is basically an event organized by World Vision to raise funds for poverty children where every participant needs donate/ask for donation/accumulate a certain sum of money to join the event itself to fast for 30 hours (this is to remind everyone of the suffering and lack of food experienced by most poverty children around the world). I always have a weakness for food and can't stand hunger, my previous housemate had commented that I looked like a drug addict when didn't eat after quite sometime haha; i was basically shivering and sniffing like one :(

But guess what, I did managed to survive the event without any scar lol, it was quite fun and I managed to know a few nice people there. Given a choice, I will opt to join it again next year with a bigger gang of mine hehe, life is all about enjoying to the fullest rite? :P

Nothing much to say about boiling vcds and socializing except I was addicted to singing K in the past 2 weeks. Been visiting Neways in 1U for like 3 times in 2 weeks, which is alot considering it has been around 7 years since I last went to sing any K. Me and my friends might make it a weekly event, which is gonna burn a hole in my pocket for sure lol but at least it's not that expensive considering our last session only costs us around RM20 for 6 hours during nighttime, pretty cheap rite? :P

One amazing moment I had during the holiday was when I was working freelancing as a promoter in Bangsar Village last Sat and Sun. I saw something really beautiful there, not chio girls la but a very talented pianist with alot of discrepancies. Blind, hearing problem (he needed a hearing aid) and most important of all, he was someone with learning disability and you can see he was not normal compared to us, but the songs he played is up to par with many professional pianist. I was so amazed by his play that I always take my lunch or dinner ASAP and basically sat there till the end of my break.

Looking at him made me realized life can be a very beautiful thing, and I was wondering if someone like him can live normally and never cry for those unfair moments in life, why should we, normal people always cry for the simplest of problems rite? They do not have the power to change their biological deficiency, yet they have such great courage to try to live a normal life whereas people like us sometimes failed to gather such courage or realized that we always have the power to change our life to be a better one. Anyway, the pianist name was Collin and he did performed in many events before such as Genting, Le Meridien to name a few. He did have his fair share of fans, some people I spoke to were actually visiting his play every now and then, and yea, you can count me as one of his fans as well. ;)

Every good thing has to come to an end though, and my new semester just started last Tuesday! Not as though I was terrified by it though since studying was already part of my daily routine for like... 15-18 years already? Nonetheless I hope to achieve good result this sem (I knew I always said the same every semester haha) in order to achieve at least 2nd upper degree for my Bachelor of Psychology course.

The first week passed off peacefully, almost too peaceful since most classes have yet to start any lecturing sessions yet (I only refer to those I attended so far). But me and my friend did have some busy time forming groups or stuffs for the upcoming group assignment for some of our subjects.

Hopefully all of us can work hard together as well as keeping an eye on one another to ensure everyone is working hard haha... ya, I do need supervision to be hardworking as I was a well-known lazy worm :(

Gambateh everyone!

Holiday so far...

2008-08-17T23:07:00.002+08:00

Is nothing special lo... Didn't get to learn much from my internship as what I hope for cos its mainly work n more work lol... but at least it introduce me to some new fields which are quite interesting; how to plan and prepare for a workshop, etc...

The worst part was I had a few things wanted to do during this holiday; learning mandarin, polishing SPSS and finding relevant research topic for next semester's PSY202, but none had been done so far... in fact, I have yet to start any of those haiz... :(

And now left only 2 weeks lo, how can I utilize them le? Or should I say, am I motivated enough to do something within these 2 weeks le? Haha... I dunno, but I think would..... gua.

Someone start to force me to start doing it pls :(

Tree of Values

2008-08-17T01:08:00.002+08:00

I had the privilege to a Peace Leadership workshop last week and gained some valuable knowledge. One interesting description used in the workshop was how our values resemble seeds in a tree. It takes time, effort, will and energy to water our plant's seed to enable it to grow into a small plant, and subsequently into a tree.

The same concept goes for our moral values. We needed time to experience lots of rise and fall in between events and happening, have a strong will to rise up from our faults and put more efforts to correct our mistakes and values to enable us to grow as a person. In the meantime, we also need to protect ourselves from harmful insects such as negative social values, etc from harming our moral values.

I guess such learning process will keep repeating itself, and what matters most is what we learned in the process of growing our positive values.

Pathethic people...

2008-08-09T02:54:00.002+08:00

Humans are pathetic. Yup, you're not reading a wrongly phrase sentence. And in case you still have doubt, I'm nice enough to repeat that sentence for you, "HUMANS ARE PATHETIC"!

1. We like to associate certain people with certain traits instead of treating them as an unique individual. Races, genders, social status etc. are some example of how we relate a particular person to a certain traits, i.e. the kiasuness and greed of Chinese, lazy Malay, violent Indian, super emo girls, limitless egos in guys..... I don't think I need to go on rite? What I mean is, can we be very sure that every girls are super emo, every Chinese is greedy blah blah blah? NO! Being a certain race or gender doesn't mean we will posses all those traits. As such, why can't we respect, tolerate and accept individual as an unique identity and stop relating people to certain stupid stuff?

Humans are pathetic rite?

2. Selfish assholes. Tell me how many people you met in your life that are not selfish. I guess maybe one in a million, could be lesser but no doubt most people are selfish. It's just the extend of these selfish behavior that separates a person, but again certain people can be real pathetic. E.g. in a relationship, a guy/girl can cheat on their partner and yet they will choose to give some really lame stupid excuses just to cover their back when such cheat is revealed. I mean, why can't these people just admit their mistake since they are the ones who wants to have "double pleasure" and didn't even care the damage that could be inflicted on their partners in terms of psychological or emotional, especially if that person is of low self-esteem.

Humans are really pathetic rite?

3. Full, or fool of themselves. Some people can think they are somewhat of higher standard than others, thus giving them the stupid thinking that they are much superior compared to other people. One best example was seniority in schools or offices, but let's take the example in school. I was discussing this issue with a friend today and we both agreed that some people can be real fools for thinking that they posses greater knowledge, knows more compared to their juniors. And this is what me and my friend observed in our psychology classes, where students are "supposingly" more well aware that the perception of seniority means superiority is totally wrong, yet these people are so full, or fool of themselves and totally ignore their juniors in classes (ya, even when both are in the same class) or in group discussion.

Dang, humans are just pathetic rite?

4. Greedy/power freak bastards. Just look at the power struggle between BN and Anwar and how these people can use so many underhand tactics just to achieve their goals. Worth mentioning was the number of greedy asses in BN that encouraged the corruption practice in our country. Bleh, enough of politics I guess, it's a neverending story of the patheticness in human being...

5. I can list so much more, but I have a life so do the rest of the imagination yourself.

It looked as though I'm frustrated, which I was indeed when I see the negative direction of where everyone is heading. The current society is indeed in plain deep shit, and it takes some great effort to bring changes to it. Life should be much simpler, but it was us who are making things hard for ourselves. Pretty stupid rite? We rape the nature of their resources, and here we got raped back by it via natural disasters etc...

Of cos, great people still exists, and these people are the pure inspiration for me, and hopefully the day can arrive when we can bring changes to the society and make the world a better place to live.

Ah, I have a dream...

Internship life

2008-08-02T23:27:00.002+08:00

Had quite a hectic week since last Monday. This is because most of us are handling quite a few projects at the same time (6 interns in total). Most of the jobs are pretty boring and no brainer, but guess I don't mind at all since everything starts from basic. I guess the presence of Dr. Goh does instill a certain level of stress due to his high demand and 'perfectionist' characteristic.

The interesting part was the more difficult jobs are pilling on us, and I guess most of us would be getting lesser and lesser sleep in the next 3-4 weeks. My group of interns had been pretty nice and helpful except 1, and overall it was a great learning experience for me and the rest of the people.

Yet, working on certain corporate projects mean being realistic, in the sense of marketing, promotion and earning profits. Reality bites, competition makes people ruthless and the race to the top makes people doing what they can to beat the rest in the race.

Dr. Goh did keep reminding most of the interns about how the real world works, and that's because he wanted us to perform. I guess those advices are certainly useful for my other 5 groupmates since most of them had yet to get exposed to the real working world.

Despite appreciating those advices, I, for one never like to use it. I guess that's because I've seen alot of these ugly sides of human, and I do despise myself if I really had to use some "underhand" tactics to get things done. But I guess knowing these means you will be using it when the situation gets dire, which pretty sux.

Nonetheless I still look forward for this month since these projects are really interesting and it does require you to make good use of all those resources available to you; manpower, information, and even lecturers for consultation lol. I guess I'm lucky since I got a lecturer as consultant for one of my project. I guess that's the benefit of knowing them :p

Datelines and Projects

2008-07-27T02:32:00.003+08:00

Minutes and seconds are ticking away and I have yet to do what I should be doing, my internship projects! Was feeling really lazy lately, wasted time on yumcha-ing (new english word for you) with frenz, surfing net, chatting with frenz, day dreaming, eating, sleeping, bathing, shitting (you and i did that, so dont laugh lol) etc...

I always realized one thing, I can have some really good ideas for many projects of different genres and are able to execute my ideas on my own, but I will start facing problems whenever I work with people. Can't distribute jobs properly, poor management skills, lazy to plan in advance how to workout a plan, and poor tolerance on team members are among my greatest weaknesses when it comes to group work. In fact I told Dr. Goh (my supervisor for internship) that I hope to improve on this weakness of mine, and that was one of the main reason I applied for this internship.

Hopefully I can learn and improve on this weakness over time cos all our work are groupworks that require good team players. I will learn from people beside me, and wish me luck ;)

May the force be with me (Starwars, 198X)! Bleh, as if I needed that :P

Movie Fest?

2008-07-23T00:55:00.004+08:00

Was able to catch 2 movies that I anticipated for quite sometimes; Dark Knight and Red Cliff, with the former on Monday and latter on Tuesday. I had to say both movies didn't disappoint me, and I do recommend any movie lovers to watch both, Dark Knight especially if you haven't do so.

There was this interesting quote that I saw from Red Cliff from Zhuge Liang, where he said to Sun ShangXiang, "Unique people are often misunderstood by others". This brings me back to think about social norms and conformity that we learned in Social Psychology, where social norms are "invisible" rules in social interaction, where someone that doesn't follow social norms tend to be ridiculed as abnormal, weird and many other funny tags.

I guess that was pretty sad kind of thought, cos everyone should be unique in their ways, yet most people need to act out of their will (past researches found that most people don't like to comply to social norms if given a choice) in order to gain acceptance and avoid negative feelings such as anxiety, etc...

I guess such perception is kinda sad cos people that try to be themselves are "discourage" to do so. At least I'm one of those few feeling proud not to follow certain social norms which i deemed stupid, but of cos there are also certain norms which could bring benefit to everyone such as conformity to enviromental care, cleaniness programs etc...

What I want to address is that, be proud of who you are and don't be afraid to be yourself in public ;)

And yea, I'm also anticipating Mummy 3 this coming 31st July!

Funny Comic (Part 2)

2008-07-23T00:15:00.008+08:00

Continue from previous post...

6. Comparison between past and present Prime Ministers

Dollah refers to ~~Bodowi~~Abdullah Badawi, our current sleeping beauty PM that is considered incompetent and did not manage fulfill his promises to his "rakyat".

7. The current sodomy allegation against Anwar, the de facto leader of PKR.

The ongoing sodomy allegation against Anwar was the re-occurance of what happened 10 years ago when Anwar was charged of the same offence. It was widely speculated (and proved) that Anwar was framed back then, and the mastermind behind it was Mahathir, our previous PM.

8. The same sodomy allegation against Anwar

It was widely believed that UMNO leaders were behind the current sodomy charge against Anwar as a way to prevent him to form a new government or some sort, and you can't blame such speculation when there were so many more issues of great importance wasn't take care of, and instead our government just focus our attention on this case. Speculation was not proven though.

9. The lying ~~Optimus~~ Prime Minister...

Our PM had made ample of promises in the past but yet didn't manage to fulfill...

Again, credit to the original author and MalaysiaKini. Hope you guys enjoy the comic ;)

Funny Comic (Part 1)

2008-07-22T14:37:00.009+08:00

I found these funny comics and think of sharing it out. Basically it portrays the current Malaysia scene. Credits to Mr. Zunar, the original author and artist and MalaysiaKini for hosting it. Ya, I got it from them but at least i give them credit rite? ;)

1. ~~BN robbing our wealth~~ The Rising Cost of Living in Malaysia!

From Left: Samy Velu on toll price (when he's still the Work Minister), Badawi on petrol hiki, Hisamuddin on his Keris thingy.

2. Iron Fist style of ruling on toll hike!

3. Same quote, different way of using it.

Left: Martin Luther King Jr. was the leader of America civil right movement that fought for the rights and freedom of black ppl in America, the quote "I have a dream" was made famous by him in a speech in Washington at year 1963. Right: Badawi sleeping and dreaming instead of doing his job...

4. The Great ~~Wall~~ Jam in KL.

You pay to get caught in traffic jam! One of a kind and out of this world, no wonder tourists are flocking to Malaysia to see such "amazing and mysterious" phenomenon...

5. Bersih Rally on November 2007 in KL.

It basically potrays how the government resolved to use "rough ways" to handle the protest; e.g riot polices, tear gas, etc...

To be continue in part 2...

Internship Project!

2008-07-22T04:30:00.003+08:00

I got my internship projects yesterday, only 4 out of 6 that I wanted. Guess I was abit greedy but I thought "the more the better since I'm there to learn and the more I involved, the more I get expose to". Again... guess I was too greedy :(

The 4 jobs were World Famine 30 hours, Corporate Training, Website for students and HELP Psychology Challenge.

a) World Famine 30 hours:
This was my 3rd priority and I got it. I like being part of the organizer in any event and I guess I would like this one. But the bad side of this project is u need to fast for 30 hours! Honestly, I'm not sure if I can do that cos I can have some weird symptoms such as shivering and even running nose when without food for certain period of time! Pretty weird huh lol... I'm not sure the exact job description since we will only be briefed about it on Wednesday.

b) Corporate Training:
This was my 1st priority due to the fact Dr. Goh, my supervisor in this intern stated that we have the chance to follow his team and help out with any corporate training they are giving to clients (our college do offer corporate training services to other companies). Such experience will surely be valuable! Basically this project might required us to help out with gathering and compiling necessary information on any corporate training topic, not sure if we're required to do any other things though.

c) Website for Psychology:
This was my 2nd preference, and Website for Psychology is basically a search engine related website for students not from HELP that are interested in Psychology, and its concept was really very interesting. I guess I'm involved with design or ideas on how to develop this website?

d) HELP Psychology Challenge:
This was my 5th preference, and suprisingly I got it. HELP Psychology challenge is an event by our Psychology department that challenged non-psychology students (secondary school) to write an essay about any psychology topic, and the winner could get a full sponsorship for our Psychology programme in HELP, pretty nice rite? There are various jobs which we're involved in (coordination, marketing, PR, etc) and I have yet to be assign to any job yet.

Projects that I applied but didn't get:

a) Website for Student Activities:
This was also my second preference since it's under the same topic (WEBSITE FOR STUDENTS) together with my other project, Website for Psychology. Kinda disappointed since I think this project is more interesting and I have more to offer for this project compared to the other one. Oh, and I did email and asked whether I can get involved with it or not though lol, so greedy rite?

b) Website for Student Feedback:
This was some kind of self-evaluation website, which I didn't get as well. The concept are more vague and harder to implement, but nonetheless it was an interesting project, I guess.

I guess this would be a nice internship and I didnt regret joining it due to some of its projects are really interesting and comes with some great vision. Hopefully I can contribute something to these projects... ^_^

Back to Melaka!

2008-07-17T21:44:00.005+08:00

Actually I was already back in KL by the time I wrote this blog haha, but nonetheless there was some nice moments back there! I went back Melaka last Monday (14th July) around noon time and came back today.

Monday (14 July):-
I was thinking that I should be able to make it in time to see my sister giving birth to her daughter since I was told she would be delivering somewhere this week. But I received a call in the morning and my dad told me that she had already given birth! I was late again nonetheless, but I went back around noon and managed to see both her and her new baby aka my niece ^_^

I'm glad both of them are fine. As a gesture of blessing, I ~~stole~~ took 10 fishes from my friend (he's the boss of a fish shop) and some fish foods as well to be rared in my house, so nice to know some friends who opened their own shops rite hahaha...

Today was also the day I started my intern... as a nanny! I need to take care of my other 1 year old niece that is very naughty and I can tell you that what you studied in child development didn't really proof to be that helpful. Always need to standby 24 hours :(

Tuesday (15 July):-
This was a painful day. I went to a Chinese sensei type of clinic. Suprisingly it was one of the most glamourous clinic I've ever seen; it comes with SPA and massage, cafe and other kind of services O_O I went there to treat my leg that was twisted during my accident last week, and guess what, a doctor "urut" me by pulling and twisting my leg so damn hard that I felt it was breaking! I ended up limping out of the clinic when I walked in without much problem. He also gave me 6 different kind of medicines, talk about treatment... But I indeed felt better now haha

Had a hair cut as a preparation for internship, and guess what? My friends during secondary school said that they never seen me with such short hair before even in school when we yumcha at night! Urgh!

Wednesday (16 July):-
Relax at house the whole day while preparing for 2 exams on Thurs (which is today). It was a mid-term test for both my IT subjects, while fulfilling my nanny duty (except breastfeed of cos...).

Thursday (17 July):-
Went to take exam during noon and luckily it wasn't that hard. I was carrying my luggages together since it's rather near from the exam centre to bus station. Came back to KL around 7+ and my bus was stopped by police on the way home. They went onboard to check for I/C and me being a good citizen did bring mine. A few guys was detained though due to passport problems I guess.

It's always nice to back home as you're back in a warm and nice environment as well as meeting old buddies. But taking care of a child is very very hard task. I really admire how adults can be so patient with kids, imagine they are crying and screaming and yet the adults can soothe and trying to calm the kid down in such a patient manner does touched me alot. So guys, always treat your parents well, you never know the hardship of taking care of you when you're small till you're a parent yourself haha.

Ops, Political Idiots "Leaders" Do It Again!

2008-07-14T00:34:00.008+08:00

"Blogs contained nothing but lies that could destroy Malaysia!" are some of the most famous quotes by some of our politicians today. You can read their, ahem ~~stupid~~ comments here and here, where our Culture and Heritage Minister Mohd Shafie stated that Blogs and SMSes can destroy a civilization and Tunku Abdul Aziz, a former special adviser to United Nations secretary-general on ethics commented that "most bloggers are lying and their comments are not professional due to lack of qualification".

I do agree that lies can indeed destroy a nation. I guess taking Malaysia as an example is a safe bet, because we've been living under lies and empty promises for so many years. It's not lies from bloggers mind you, but lies from our incapable politicians. Look at how the growth of Malaysia had stagnant for the past many years, look at how lesser and lesser foreign firms are investing in Malaysia (in fact more and more are shutting down their operations in Malaysia), the failure of Goverment Linked Companies like Proton and look at how More and MORE problems are occuring such as higher living costs, political turnmoil, and yes, more stupid politicians giving stupid comments when they are better and fully qualified to apply the position of clowns in circus or entertainers in zoos.

This makes me wonder, do our politicians get bonuses for making some stupid comments, or do BN actually promote those that gives comments deemed most stupid? Mr. Politician, in case you do not know, Malaysian have this organ called BRAIN, which I guess its something you guys lack of. Most of us can think "properly" and "rationalize" what's right and wrong. People don't simply trust a source because we have this simple skill called "analyzing" (again, I guess that's something you politicians lacked of) to analyze the situation and then choose whether to believe it or not.

In case you guys still can't figure out why people turn to online sources like Malaysia Kini or blogs, let me remind you again (I know I'm so nice to waste 5 minutes of my time reminding you, but hey, we bloggers are nice people rite?). People resolved to online resources to get their information because Mainstream Media is pro-government. In case you don't understand (cos it seems you politicians lack of "understanding"), it basically meant that those medias are siding government and mostly reporting the "great deeds" and "lies" from goverment. Dont believe? Please buy a copy of recycle paper like UTUSAN MELAYU and hope you can get what I mean. That, my friend, is what you called LIE. I have yet to name other sources of media like NST cos I'm too lazy to list all out.

Such unrealiable source of news forces the "Rakyat" as how Pak Lah likes to put, to choose another form of media for reference on everyday happening. Which is why they turn to online sources, cos it's only there the "rakyat" can find some (I didn't put ALL cos there are indeed some extremely bias and untrue news) true news that reflects on the current situation in the country.

In case both Mohd Shafie and Tunku Abdul Aziz failed their history before, one of the most important element that brings a civilization together is "communication", which basically means how information is passed from one source to another. Malaysia lacked of this "communication" for many years and what's the result? Malaysia is getting worse from day to day compared to other countries that was once lacking so far from Malaysia e.g. Korea. Even Vietnam is doing so well now...

But it seems you short sighted policians can only put blames on bloggers or online resources and deemed them as lies as they were written by "unqualified" people. I do wonder what was Tunku Abdul Aziz's meaning of "disqualified"? Does he meant lack of certification; position; or intelligence? If position was what he meant, then sorry dude, as you politicians had shown, one's "qualification can be really low even if they are the leaders of the country, the same goes with intelligence. If he meant certificiation, then tell me how many of those in Parliments had a P.H.D or Masters in certain discipline (even if they do, yet at many time their remarks beared similarity with our furry ancestors with those uncivilized language, with the latest news being the Bung Moktar showing rude gesture, duh) before they give some "professional" comments. And I have not mentioned that 2 of the greatest business brain in modern era, Bill Gates (most people knew who he is, oh I forgotten some politician might not due to their ignorance so I will list it out...) the founder of Microsoft and Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple and the mastermind behind the Ipod are actually college dropouts since Bill Gates did not finished his college and Steve Jobs only managed to complete his first year. So dear sir, please tell me, what do you mean by "disqualified". And instead of trying to improve the situation, you, "qualified" politicians choosed to spend hours to script your speech (or maybe some of your scriptwriters again) and give another stupid opinion.

Or maybe you guys realized the situation in Malaysia is too tensed up now, thus you choose to enlighten our hearts by providing some humours by giving stupid comments. If that's the case, I offer my humblest apology...

p/s: By no mean I'm referring most politicians had the brain size of a pea, but most of these Badawi lackeys are making comments without thinking. There are indeed many politicians with good insights, thus my comments doesn't generalize to these people.

2 days of shopping spree...

2008-07-14T00:10:00.002+08:00

Shopping... how long was it since I last did that. Maybe it was like few years ago, but I can't recall clearly haha. To compensate for my lack of activities for these few years, I decided to go on a shopping spree for the past 2 days. Urgh, a spree indeed that burnt a big hole in my pocket...

Went out from 12pm+ on both days, and reached home around 10pm+, who can believed this is the same guy that got hit by a motorcycle 1 week ago and was limping to school during his examination haha. But I guess the "exercise" on my leg served as a "theraphy" session, and miracle happens cos my leg got better and can move easier these few days! Guess using money "does" help to heal your sickness haha...

Went out to 1U with my ex-housemate Qing on Saturday to buy something, and ended up getting myself a pair of new shoes, a bag, a watch, an accessory, a T-shirt and a shirt. I ended up buying more than I expected, but I still have a pouch, 2 jeans and at least 2 more T-shirts on my wishlist. I guess I won't be getting them anytime soon, else really need to sleep on the street liao. Really appreciate her for accompanying me for the whole day cos she was someone that don't window shop or even go out for no reason. Guess my face was big enough for her to comply haha, so I really thx her a lot for her time, energy and advises ;)

Went to Curve, Ikano and 1U (duh, 1U again u said?) with my daughter on Sunday cos she said she wanna shop for something. Didn't really buy anything today, just ate some nice meals which she intro to me haha, and now I knew a few more nice places to dine ;) Glad she got what she wanted, and yea, both of us enjoyed the outing.

It has been so long since I went out for so many hours due to a busy semester and lack of time. It was tiring but it was fun when you're going out with someone close to you. But sales period is indeed tempting, who can resists nice stuff that had its prices slashed 10%-70% rite (even though most had its prices hiked up)?

Wishlist:
2 x jeans
1 x small pouch (can't see anything nice yet)
2 x hand accessories (can't see anything suitable yet)
2 x T-shirts
1 x belt (can't see a nice one yet, or some are too exp)

End of another semester

2008-07-11T22:30:00.003+08:00

Finally completed another semester after taking my last exam yesterday. Went to celebrate with friends till 10+ before reaching home, and of all sudden, a question pop out in my mind.

"What am I gonna do tomorrow (which is today)?"

Suddenly like nothing to do after a busy semester, and I can't help but to think what I can do haha. Got a disappointing news today which is my internship isn't starting next Monday as I anticipated, but the Monday after (21st July) next week, which makes my sudden holiday even longer, even dunno what to do and think even more!

Already planned to go shopping tomorrow and have some reunion with some "long time no see" friend on Sunday before going back Melaka on Monday in order to take the other 2 exams (duh) for my IT course. Don't ask me why I don't want to study when I'm so free, it's because the subject is still manageable without studying I guess, and I'm lazy to study :P

Anyway, wishing all my friends happy holiday and see you guys and gals in September! Don't forget my souvenirs kekeke...

When will our politicians ever learn?

2008-07-09T22:34:00.005+08:00

Or should I ask, will they ever learn to think before they speak? Our PM, gave this line of words

"All the slander and lies spread through the blogs and YouTube do not contribute to ease and confidence in the people," and

"These attempts had blemished the principles of the Rukunegara such as'Loyalty to King and Country, Upholding the Constitution, the Rule of Law, and Good Behaviour and Morality."

Slanders? Lies? I was wondering when can our government even stop putting the blames on this and that and instead work on what should be done. As if the political turnmoil is not in deep shit enough, here we have another joker, our PM, making such an "incredible" statement. No wonder some of my oversea friends said we are slowly becoming the laughing stock of the world, or maybe should I say our goverment and PM is becoming the laughing stock in the eyes of the world.

FFS, it does makes me wonder whether all he did was to keep sleeping and slumbering and only know how to read these idiotic scripts without understanding the REAL meaning behind those contents. I suggest he changed a scriptwriter, at least someone with slightly higher intelligence than those mentally disable people (by no mean I'm discriminating mentally disable people, just referring that the intelligence level of his current scriptwriter is on par with them, no offence)...

All he did was talk, talk and more talk. He's been talking non-stop since the last 2 elections, but where is the action? Where's the promise of more open government, less corruption, higher efficiency, a more open jurisdacy system and many more? All I can see is more open corruption, more name-calling, more raising of keris and more racial incidents, which these political idiots are doing for their own sake! I'm extremely dismay by his inability to focus on the real issue. Where is he when all the political bickering is happening? Did he do anything to help the current economy (I guess he did, by increasing the living cost of everyone)? Sleeping, and dreaming maybe?

We do not turn to blogging or online resources if not because of the extremely bias and pro government mainstream media (MSM) coverage. Have you ever think of that? Blaming of various external attribution is not what a leader should do. In our psychology course, only kids lower than 12 years old keep using denial as a defence mechanism, and it was stated that any age older than 12 years using it means that kid basically had difficulty coping with later life.

I guess this is the disease with our politicians today. They had been denying alot of things for the past 20 years by giving stupid excuses. Our Home Minister can said he didn't know whether the private investigator Bala "was" in Malaysia or not when he can easily access to immigration record. Then we had this stupid Umno Putera leader insulting god by asking Anwar and Saiful swearing by the Quran. For the love of god, any stupid people would know either one of them is lying. So wasn't it an insult to the Quran if both sweared and said they are stating nothing but fact?

I was wondering, when will we ever had an efficient government, a goverment that wants to bring changes to the lifes of 26m population in Malaysia. Why Singapore is as it is today? Because Lee Kuan Yew wanted to bring changes to the country, and he did. I never believe in the bullshit of "not able", but rather do our leaders have the "will and want" to bring changes to Malaysia instead of feeding their own pocket and egos.

Malaysia is already in a very pathetic state. The country once known as "Five tigers in Asia" together with Japan, Korea, Hong Kong and Singapore, but look where are we now, and where are these other 4 countries. Our overall economy and GDP per capita is even more pathetic than Singapore, a country that is even smaller than Selangor.

I for one, as a Malaysian definately feel ashamed, not because I wasn't loyal to my country. In fact I believed most bloggers are loyal to Malaysia, and this is why we took the effort to make a change, hoping our little effort to alert the rest of Malaysian to know the current dire situation of the country and to strive for a change.

A good leader is one whose behavior mirrors theirs words, for we or even your other political lackeys won't respect leaders that say one thing but do another. In such times of controversial and challenge, we need a leader that can stand up and take the challenges instead of reading some useless scripts.

All we hope is a better tomorrow for everyone, and we hope you can deliver all the promises you made all these years. And should the government failed, please be a man and learn to accept it was your mistake and take the blame, instead of throwing the ball of blames to bloggers and other people.

Remember sir, for Malaysian are watching, and they are not blind or stupid as how some of you think they are.

Thanks for everyone's concern.

2008-07-07T23:08:00.003+08:00

I can't help but to express my thanks to most of my friends. I met with a minor motor accident yesterday and was lucky to escape with some minor injuries, and the reaction from those I knew make me feel really touched.

Some of you took the trouble to drive me to dinner around 10+ yesterday night when you know I haven't take my dinner.

Some of you purposely went to buy some medicine for me during night time.

Some of you called and smsed me when you know I met with an accident, offering kind and caring words.

Some of you gave a number of advises even though I was supposed to know better (due to me being older :( ), which shows your concern for me.

Some of you purposely cooked lunch for me and even gave me medicine.

Some of you purposely call me during my exam and ask me for dinner tonight, fearing I had difficulties walking to food stalls.

Ya, you read it right, someone called me during my exam, 3 times and it was from someone I hardly contact. She gave a total a 10 miss calls when I looked back, but the funny thing is Dr. Hera approached me and confiscated my HP and passed to Dr. Anasuya. I tried to approach her to get my phone back, Dr. Hera and Farah was willing to give me back the phone but Dr. Anasuya acted otherwise. She asked me to find Dr. Goh (he's our head of department) which I did thx to a friend who drive me there.

Upon there, I saw the fat butt of Anasuya walking towards our department of psychology, and me, being the limping one walked slower than her even though she was triple my size (ok, its only double). I saw her passing the phone to Dr. Goh and earsdrop Dr. Goh saying its ok so long the student doesn't cheat. Feeling relieved, I approached Dr. Goh and to suprise, Anasuya laughed the hell out of me when she saw me. I was like OMG you fatass, is there such a need when there are so many students outside her room waiting to collect their assignments. If you've been to her counselling classes, you will know how terrible her laughter is...

I felt like Winnie for a moment, as of all sudden eyes grow behind my back and I can "see" many people staring at me like I'm some sort of American Idol winner grabbing all the attention. Luckily I wasn't some sort of low self-esteem guy and don't give a damn about public opinion haha, cos my sole purpose is to get back my phone.

I went into Dr. Goh's room and he was so kind and asked how was the exam and also about my condition when he noticed me limping. I can't use any words to express my admiration on this man, I hardly idolize anyone but I have to say I really admire him alot. After a 10 minutes chat on other issues, he passed me back my phone and I got a "HAPPY ENDING" (CK, 2008). HAHAHA...

The Malaysia political scene...

2008-07-07T22:52:00.003+08:00

“Drama”. That's the only word fit to describe our current local political scene I wonder why households paid nearly RM100 a month (or more) to Astro to watch drama when the best is so much cheaper in local newspaper or internet. This drama and its two main actors, Anwar and Najib certainly contained more action than Jet Li and Jackie Chan’s Forbidden Kingdom, funnier than Stephen Chow’s Kungfu and Shaolin Soccer (CJ7 isn’t worth mentioning, sorry), and is more passionate than Tony Leung’s Lust, Caution.

Why it has more action? It’s because a new twist in the political scene emerged every few days and its plot is definitely very unpredictable. Why it is funny? OMG you must have some mental problem if you ask this. Don’t you think it’s funny to see politicians of great stature (and supposing smart, or maybe not) falling into a simple trap that normal “rakyat” like you and I can? Passionate wise, I can only say, hate exists due to love. Figure out yourself (don’t ask me cos I only make it up).

First there was the claim by Malaysia Today’s author, Raja Petra about Najib’s wife involvement in Atlantuya’s case. Then, there was this sodomy charge against Anwar, the same thing that causes him to go to jail back in 1998. Then a private investigator appears out of nowhere to present a statutory declaration about Najib’s involvement in Atlantuya’s case, only to retract it a day later.

I don’t plan to touch on the whole Atlantuya’s case due to the cloudy nature of the case. But Najib certainly isn’t doing himself any good by keeping silence so far instead of making a defamation charge of some sort. Maybe there was indeed a certain connection…

For the sodomy case, most people might think Anwar could be at the losing side but I felt it was a blessing for him instead. Why? Let me list out the reasons-

a) It must be handled with great care, a repeat of 1998’s disgraceful way will add more shit into the current BN bandwagon.
b) The public is sympathize with Anwar, creating a more ideal scene for him to pull people to his side.
c) Foreign country like US is already condemning our government in handling the case, what’s better to have some strong friends to offer social support rite?
d) You can’t proof a sodomy case unless there was physical evidence, let’s say sperm in Saiful’s butt… Semen on mattress in the “crime scene” could only proof a sexual activity took place, but not Anwar sodomizing Saiful.
e) Anwar claimed he had alibi
f) Logically thinking, how can a 60+ year old man outpowered a 20+ young man. I seriously can’t find a logic way to explain this. I guess not even Einstein could do it.

The only way to prove the case beyond reasonable doubt is to find the correct semen sample in Saiful’s violated body part or a Chua Soi Lek-type video which I doubt its existance. Or maybe BN can employ and do a CSI thingy and pray it does work miracle.

Back to the sodomy case, the funny twist was how Saiful, an enemy from Pakatan Rakyat's camp can approach Najib for scholarship as well as reporting a sodomy case.

Sorry Mr. Najib

I had to apologize to the fact that I thought all politicians are self-centered and only work towards their own interest. Mr. Najib, our DPM proved me wrong by providing “human services” to youth of the current media scene, Mr. Saiful, the “victim” of Anwar’s current sodomy charges.

I’m sorry Najib, because I didn’t know Malaysia had such a caring leader in you. Instead of contributing to the development of Malaysia (which is calling for dire help for development), you instead put effort in the most basic of all contribution, to attend to the need of an individual. You open your arms and welcome this nobody and have the time to “listen” and the heart to feel “empathy” (I haven’t even talk about you helping him on his loan matter. What a minister you are! I have some problems of my own lately, isit ok if I come to find you as well?

I’m sorry Najib, because I didn’t know Malaysia had such a caring leader in you. Who cares about Michael Chong of MCA since we can come to you straight rite? With your power and position, I believed things can be solved even faster, making the overall process more efficient. But I guess you will be busier lately since you are so diligent in attending to your “rakyat’s” call, unlike your boss which only has all the talk but no action.

I’m sorry Najib, because I didn’t know Malaysia had such a caring leader in you. I didn’t know DPM had the time now to even counsel sodomy victim. But I believed you “specially” took your time off because an individual matter can’t be overlook, or maybe you’re setting a good example for the rest of the more inefficient guys to follow. What a leader. I hope you also open your door to ah long victims, snatch thief victim as well as victims as hit and run like my poor self here.

I’m sorry Najib, because I didn’t know Malaysia had such a caring leader in you. I believed you met Saiful because he was traumatized by the event as the offender was none other than Anwar. But Mr. Najib, I was also traumatized by lots of events. I was traumatized by the recent hike of living costs, was traumatized by not enough money and was traumatized by my school work and exam. Can you spare some of your precious moment for me?

I’m sorry Najib, because I didn’t know Malaysia had such a caring leader in you. You’re helping a dropout student like Saiful to secure loan even though he got a very low CGPA (I consider mine low, but he’s much lower). I wonder what help can u help me since I need to secure study loan as well.

Last but not least, I can't help but to admire Anwar. I suspect he was the mastermind behind his own sodomy charge as well as the statuotary declaration by a private investigator on Najib's involvement in Atlantuya's case. If it was as how I suspected, I must admit the execution of such plan is near flawless. Please don't get me wrong, I for one don't agree using the political scene as well as the welfare of all Malaysian for personal gain. But I can't help to feel relieve cos finally there was someone smart (unlike the many in our government that never think before they talk) is threatening our government, and even though it was all words till now, yet the hope of bringing a new future to Malaysia could lie on this man.

Who knows, for you and I can't predict the future. As such, isn't better to enjoy the drama instead?

Female Terminology: Learn it...remember it guys!

2008-07-05T21:56:00.003+08:00

I've come up (and also copied) some "USEFUL" terms used by females *no offence girls, don't start beating me up later* =P

Female Terminology:

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you
need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES (not Jay Chou's "please give 2 more min)
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five
minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before
helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be
on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it or... dunno, depends on who the girl is, and the consequences could be real bad :o

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over
"Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man.
"That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding
how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're
welcome.
Oh, and before we forget ...

"WHATEVER"
...it's a woman's way of saying F*CK YOU

Sorry for the 18sx thingy. Remember it well guys, just in case some girls use these words on you ;)

For result or learning?

2008-07-05T20:45:00.004+08:00

Had a yumcha (drink tea, chatting, kepoh~ing or whatever you want to call) with some secondary classmates earlier (weird rite cos i'm not studying when exam is so near)and we chat alot about of stuff from politics to work, and finally my studies... Most of them seemed suprised when I told them i got a shit load of assignment for completion in a short period of time.

CSK: wah sot meh, got so many meh
Boy: KDU also not that many wor, quite relax except 3rd year thesis
Me : yalo, who says study is easy lol, hardly sleep for few weeks liao
Dai: surely want to do a gd work le, cant lose out to younger ppl rite haha

This chat reminds me of it. Indeed, I can't lose. In fact I hate losing as I stated before in this blog. I always hope to be better than others in those things I participated in; camps, tournaments, clubs and societies or even casual activities or hobbies. But that was at least 3-4 years ago liao. I guess my frenz's heuristic still reminds them of my old self haha.

These days I still receive such comment, but the fact I try to do a good work is not to get result or to be better than others, but rather to improve myself and my work as a way to test how far I can go and improve again. It's more like a continuous learning or improving a work.

Some might say its around the same or even its the same thing, which I beg to differ. Doing something to win is more result oriented, meaning someone would emphasize on the outcome of the result more. On the other hand, continuous improving one's work is more towards the process of doing the job e.g. which part can be improved somemore, is this part good enough etc...

I believed that the latter method or attitude is more important, too many people over emphasize on results which makes them forget something; the process of generating the result! A poor process might almost don't guarantee any result, and even if you had a one hit wonder, you might not be able to be consistent in future work.

Emphasizing on the process allows a person to continue improving their work, for present and future, which helps to retain a good level of consistency as well as continuous improvement due to adaptive learning. This is exactly what I'm trying to do now haha. Nowadays it's more towards competiting with myself rather than others, cos I'm competiting to try to fulfill my own expectation of a good work (usually fail of cos haha which explains why I'm studying now :( ) and learn from it instead of comparing my work with others.

How can we win others if we can't conquer ourselves rite?

Life after assignment...

2008-07-03T00:32:00.002+08:00

I guess it has been quite sometime since i felt so relax. Finally submitted the assgn with my friend today, both of us were very happy cos assgn life had finally ended, at least for now and another 2-3 months haha...

We went to 1U to enjoy and we went to Seoul Garden for dinner. I was quite reluctant at first cos the dinner price is nearly double of lunch price for students, and the worst part is i promised to treat her :(

But a promise is a promise so yea, we went in, paid and take a seat. I didn't have that good impression at the place at first, cos the food variety is not as what I expected, they don't have much variety for a buffet restaurant. But what impressed me most was their good service, they even offer to inform you that they will change the bbq plate, hotplate or whatever you want to call it when it became unusable as in... erm, how should I put it... oh well imagine yourself cos I m too tired to think :P

I saw an "ice kacang" kind of machine and decided to play with it, I know I can be a kid at times but who doesn't rite haha... so I made my own ice kacang which taste real bad due to their brown sugar not sweet and sticky enough. Anyway both of us enjoyed the dinner as the environment is quite nice, especially there are only the both of us in the first hour haha. We were inside for a total of 2 1/2 hours, munching foods while chatting along.

Both of us went to window shop awhile since I need to get some shirts and pants for my intern as they said I need to wear formal attire for work, urgh... I smell burnt in my pocket already. Saw some quite decent shirts and informal wear, but not in the mood to buy or shop cos too tired so we just went off and wonder around 1U before heading back around 10+.

Kind of exhausted, but finally today I can get a real good sleep, without waking up in the midnight to cont my assgn O_O

Didn't feel especially esctatic cos exam is just around the corner (next Mon) but who cares. I will at least relax till Thurs before I start my revision haha, which I believe should be sufficient, hopefully...

I can't understand...

2008-07-01T22:45:00.001+08:00

I was extremely pissed yesterday cos one of my hardwork assgn was copied directly by one idiot. I don't mind if it was some of my previous assgn, but this particular one was intended for today's submission, and yea, he basically got my work of 3 days and copied it in less than 5 minutes.

The funny thing is he can still showed me his assgn proudly as reference, and ya, he's a MBA student (MBA = Master in Butohness and Assholeness)... which makes me to wonder why do earth even have enough space for people like him? Dont you think his existance will only waste the earth's resources and oxygen?

And thanks to him, I spent my whole day and night to "redo" the whole thing by changing all words (yes, word by word!) and adding some other key points. Some might say I'm silly, but I do not want this particular assgn to even have the risk of getting caught for copying as it was the last work before graduating from the course. Nor do I want to confront him cos his points are contradicting with his own work.

Oh well, I guess I'm still immatured in some sense for getting so pissed off by this problem, but as what Winnie said, hopefully he will go to opposite of Heaven later!

2 more assignments to go!

2008-06-27T14:06:00.004+08:00

What a week again. Basically I got sick and luckily not dead yet haha... Just finished my 6th assgn which is a class presentation. I guess I did well, but not as well as I wanted due to lack of information.

The hardest part will begin now where I need to complete 2 MBA asssignments by Monday! Luckily I started some parts already, but still it won't be easy. But once this ends, it also marks the end of a promise. Cos last year I promised a friend that I would do my best to help her to finish her course, and ya, this was her last subject and I'm glad so far she passed everything already. Talk about lessen another burden haha!

Mentally I'm still strong cos I did not feel much pressure at all even during this crazy periods. But physically I really can't cope up, and guess it explains why I keep getting sick so easily lately. A friend said I was too stubborn that I didn't wanted to take rest. But I guess I had limited choice since I wanted to complete my things properly, and guess my will overrides my tiredness and hardly sleep which leads to me getting sick often haha.

Anyway hopefully I can get more rest after this, and ya, I had a nickname from some friends, they call me Assignment Man! Move aways superman n batman, a new superhero is in the town!! ^0^

Assignment! (Cont'd)

2008-06-24T21:15:00.003+08:00

A hellish week is finally over, still another week to go. Honestly, I felt rather fatigue easily lately due to lack of sleep. Finally finished 5 assgn, there are 3 more to go. But too bad can't celebrate yet, cos the last 2 are the hardest, what do u expect from MBA papers rite?

Hopefully my body can last that long cos I had been feeling not well since last weekend (headache, slight fever and other usual stuff). And I guess overload will only lower your work quality, my previous few assgn wasn't as how well I hope for, but oh well, guess I can only try even harder next time and plan my schedule better... *___*

So ya, wish me all the best haha... ^_^ \/

Jokes!

2008-06-18T19:37:00.002+08:00

Was too busy to update my blogs lately due to schoolwork commitment, but here are some jokes to lighten up the gloomy environment of all my classmates ^_^

The Malaysian Ministry of Health is now asking the public to be on the lookout for symptoms of the following new contagious diseases.

ASSMA
Severe rashes around the mouth caused by kissing too much ass. The number-one disease in Malaysia amongst civil servants.

DIALARRHOEA
Uncontrollable urge to continually dial friends on mobile phone to share with them such important information as 'I'm now on the monorail' or 'I'm walking towards the car.' Victims can be recognized by large, twitching thumb.

MEESLES
Blotchy skin condition caused by eating too many packets of instant noodles.

MULTIPLE SPOUSOSIS
Affliction whereby victims make frequent trips to Vietnam, Thailand, Indonesia, and China to take on additional brides. Middle-aged men are at significant risk.

YELLOW FEVER
Compulsion to date Asian females. Very common affliction amongst foreign celebrities and caucasian expatriates working in Malaysia. Also known as Pinkerton's Disease.

EKOR-TOTONUS
Flushed complexion, high blood pressure and sometimes depression at finding out one has not won any gaming numbers and lotteries.

HEAVYTITIS
Excessively large breasts. This disease comes in several variant strains…….. Heavytitis A; Heavytitis B; Heavytitis C, and sometimes Heavytitis DD.

CYBERTENSION
Feelings of stress and panic caused by lack of internet access.

DYEBETES
A compulsive need to colour one's hair. Reddish brown tints are the most common symptom, but health authorities have reported a new strain of blond highlights.

CHICKEN TOX
Victims exhibit a great need to tokkok. Highly contagious. Spread by ordinary conversation, and may be exacerbated by good food and alcohol. Politicians and lawyers are especially susceptible. Incurable.

ITCHINIA
The urge in some men after reaching 40 to go for young chicks. This disease spreads fast among those with money and position and cuts across both government and business people. Beware of those who take trips out under the pretext of duty or business. This is a dangerous symptom that the disease may already have taken hold.

Assignments and more assignments...

2008-06-11T23:44:00.004+08:00

I checked my schedule yesterday and guess what, it was packed like tuna this month! A brief review:-

17th June:- 211 Assgn 1 due
19th June:- 207 Assgn 2 due
23th June:- 205 Assgn 1 due
27th June:- 211 Assgn 2 presentation
30th June:- 2 MBA papers due, together with my 2 other project assgn from Computing course (Networking and Discrete Maths)

Need to complete 8 assgn in half a month, woot! Life has never been so interesting ^___^

Wish me all the best haha.

Finished mid-term, but busier time is ahead!

2008-06-09T23:35:00.003+08:00

My last paper was some kind of disappointment cos I believed I prepared rather well but still didn't manage to do as well as I hope to. Anyway, mid-term is finally over, but I don't feel joy about it cos the important period is somewhere around 3 weeks ahead.

I got sick again today, and I guess it was base on accumulation basis of previous fatigue cos I hardly had any good rest for the past 2 weeks except for 1 Saturday. A good friend advised me to take more rest, but I think the circumstances is against me for now since there are things needed to be completed before a specific time, which is our assignments and some other works! And I also promised myself before the semester I will never absent without reason on any classes or tutorials, so haha, guess I can't rest as how I wanted as well... >___<

Thx for the concern though. ^___^

Another petrol price hike post...

2008-06-07T19:58:00.005+08:00

Even though I will be facing an exam on Monday, I can't help but to find more information regarding our nation's hot topic on petrol's price hike compared to my study materials.

I found out that Malaysia produced a rough amount of 650k barrels of crude per day, and Malaysian in general will consumed 400k barrels, leaving an estimated amount of 250k barrels for exports purposes. The selling price of crude was estimated at USD 30 per barrel 3 years ago, and the current price is USD 130 per barrel, an increase of USD 100 compared to 3 years ago. As the operation cost wasn't affected much in these 3 years, the extra USD 100 can be widely considered as pure profit for Petronas.

So let us do the calculation:

barrels to be exported X pure profit X days in a year X currency exchange (rough estimate) = total profit

250,000 X 100 X 365 X 3 = RM 27,375,000,000.

Did you see the amount of zeros? Its a total of twenty seven billion ringgit of EXTRA PURE PROFIT for Petronas and the government, and don't forget we have yet to include their profits on their sales to both local population and exports of 650k barrels each day. With that extra pure profit, it comes to my mind how come the goverment is claiming that the rising oil price burdening them when they were gaining more profit from it instead.

And for your knowledge, our petrol price of RM2.70 was already the MOST EXPENSIVE among any country in the world that produce and export crudes. Do not compare with China even though they had their own crudes since the country itself needs to import extra crudes as their own could not cope up with the population demand.

Thus, where is the need for price increase? It doesn't needs a Mathematic genius to do calculation whether the goverment is losing or earning more money... Thus why is the government claiming and crying the current oil price is burdening them when they gained more money compared to 3 years ago? And lastly, where did all the money went? And doesn't it sounds funny when our PM said the price increase is for the interest of 'rakyat' since it can be used to fund some 'developmental projects' that were of best interest to the 'rakyat'? Does the name of Northern Corridor, The Iskandar, The Southern Corridor comes to your mind (check wikipedia or other sources if you don't know what are those)?

And the so-called 4 steps to help lessen the burden of 'rakyat', I can't help but to doubt how will the goverment ensure those steps 'really help' us. Sorry Mr. PM and the rest, the future certainly doesn't look bright, and hopefully some counter measures can be taken instead of hiking the petrol price further.

And may I propose that we stop being a clown theather in the eyes of the world especially Singapore and Thailand since both decision to ban and lift petrol sales to their cars were made in less than 1 week and it certainly doesn't look good. Sorry again, but some of you certainly need to double think before you act.

p/s: infos and figures were taken from various internet sources, so credit to them.

Internship application accepted!

2008-06-06T23:54:00.002+08:00

Moving away from politic stuff for away even though I was kinda hooked by it haha. I had applied an internship position with my college as the assistant of our head of Psychology Department, Dr. Goh to assist him in handling certain projects.

Went for interview the other day, was quite funny since he said this job might not be able to offer me any new knowledge or experience due to my past working experience. This was also my concern that he would reject my application, but after thinking for sometime, I still think it's a better idea to tell him my real situation instead of hiding some facts. Reason is I dont know the job scope of that position, and he does. By communicating frankly with him, he could judge whether the job could offer me something new, and I guess he decided the answer is yes and they accepted my application haha.

You can say I was rather glad I got the job (even though no money haha) cos I believed I could learn a thing or two from him. Will be looking forward towards the job cos it would be my first job in the span of 3years plus, if I dont count in some part-time jobs of cos. Furthermore, I won't be bored for sure since I had 2 other good friends working together with me haha, thus it will definately be a good experience.

Petrol hike, aftermath...

2008-06-06T23:08:00.004+08:00

I still believe it was some pretty stupid decision to have a sudden 40% hike, not to mention the uncertainty of further hike to RM4.00 is doing nothing but damage to both the population as well as country as a whole. Let me tell you why:-

a) Hawkers and food operators could, or definately will increase their prices.
b) Bus and lorry companies already demand a 40% increase of charges.
c) Manufacturing companies will surely pass any increament of operation to the end users.
d) The KLCI today closed at 1223.56 points today, having dropped 29.65 points.
e) Point a and c means end users will not only need to bear with petrol hike, but an overall hike in daily expenses.
f) Point e means that end user will have lower buying power, not to mention spend more carefully due to unpredictable further price increament.
g) Point f means that our overall economy will be affected since big chances are people will be spending less.
h) Point b, d and g means that any potential investment or expansion might be halt, due to the uncertainty of overall business environment in Malaysia.

Summary, the economy will be affected, the people will be affected and the whole Malaysia will get affected.

Many people might think that such a move especially at this time when so many people are having thorns at heart towards BN can only mean either our PM is brave, or crazy. But I have a different insight, and I think either our PM or his advisors had planted the right strategy. You might ask why, and here is why.

Anyone who followed political news might know our PM's current seat is unstable due to numerous internal and external pressures, or some sort of that. This move of his had basically eliminate any potential uprising or opposition within his party since any new leader will have a very hard time to calm the overall population of Malaysia, and further chaos might follow. With this move, he could secure his seat longer.

Great or not, you decide since we all suffered from it. But you do need to feel proud since he finally produced a masterpiece move for once, if it was as what I think.

What a joke!

2008-06-05T01:16:00.004+08:00

I got bombarded by messages today from friends about the petrol price hike. The previous price of RM 1.92 per litter will be raised up to RM 2.70 effectively today, and this price hike of 40% causes electricity to have a 20% price hike as well! While most people had expected an increase in petrol price, where an increase of around 20% would be more reasonable (even economy watchdogs only anticipated an increased between 20%-30%), yet everyone was suprised by a 40% hike.

I mean, c'mon, if those "guys" had ever even bother to touch Management of Change books, one of the most important principle is that changes need to be introduced gradually in order to help people to cope and accept that 'tough fact' easier, and a gradual price increase spread over the span couple of years would had been more tolerable. This could also help the current BN (Barang Naik) party to at least preserve their already tarnished reputation better.

Yet, they opted to put a sudden hike when other grocery goods (rice price anyone) and other stuffs are on the rise, and I wonder did those "guys" ever consider the burden they placed on the lower income group in our country?

One question many must be asking is what was Petronas's (the cash cow of government) annual income, in which the final figure for year ended in 2008 wasn't released, and where did the nation's oil money gone and how were it being used? I can tell you, billions of ringgit was used to sponsor some useless F1 shit team, subsidizing independent power producers (IPP) when those companies were owned by some of the wealthiest Malaysian, bailing bankrupt political connected or government-owned firms such as Bank Bumiputra and many other funny stuff which we might not know.

Lastly, the ban of selling petrol to our neighbouring countries is one of the funniest decision I've heard in the past 2 months. I wonder had they ever consider the fact that there are Malaysian that owned Singapore registered vehicles, and yes, Malaysian can't refill fuel in their own country!

For now, we can only hope the money the govenment saved from subsidary will be put to better use, and not some nonsense stupid investment that bears no fruit. Do I see a bright future? I can't answer that, for now...

Exam!

2008-06-04T00:57:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was my first mid-term exam, PSY211 Human Services. Guess it was a blessing to take this subject cos the exam is unlike the typical paper set by our lecturer, Puan Fatimah. Her previous subject's exam was freaking tough, in fact quite crazy since we would need to memorize every tiny bit of information in the whole of textbook in order to score. No wonder so many people failed to pass that paper during mid-term exam.

At least I think I should do ok for this paper, hopefully... Anyway it was no fun taking exam when you're sick. To make things worst, the room was god damn freaking cold, imagine taking exam in a freezer (ok, i was abit too much here, maybe fridge suits better), especially when you're sick haha.

I also went to see a staff that handled my internship application. Didn't plan to take any in the first place, but I applied this job despite it being without pay since I believed I could learn a thing or two, since the "boss" of this job is the head of our department, Dr. Goh, an extremely capable person himself. Tomorrow will be the interview session, so wish me luck. Bleh, as though I need such wishes (opps, too arrogant again, just j/k!). :P

Most of those I knew in college are going crazy studying for Biopsychology, a relatively tough paper. If you think Biology is tough, wait till you take this paper haha. I didn't take it this semester due to lack of confidence since I have a mountain pile of workloads from other subjects. So all the best my friends, try your best and good luck. Wishes and support is all I can do, the rest of hardwork depends on you ;)

Benny 1-2 HELP

Time no enough (Singlish)!

2008-06-02T02:15:00.003+08:00

I've been wasting some precious time in the past 2 days with either social life or other stuff rather then studying for exams or doing schoolworks. Pretty silly me if you ask, but no use moaning what had happened. Hopefully I can prepare my exams well, and I do wish I had more time!

Benny 0-2 HELP

Bad luck or...

2008-05-30T20:08:00.003+08:00

Bad luck does pile up one after another I guess. Firstly, I fall sick yesterday with mild fever and flu. Hardly slept and was rushing for assginment, finally completed and went to submit earlier today. Shit things does happen, again, I guess.

I accidentally dented and tored my assignment artwork, thus couldn't submit to my lecturer. I tried to find the lecturer but couldn't find her, and the only option was for me to e-mail to her informing her about my misfortune and hope she would accept my work tomorrow with minimal penalty since I can't complete the work today for sure due to my other commitment in an orphanage for social work for another subject.

Time was running out, and I had no choice but to take a taxi since bright sky turned into dark clouds and that signals rain is near. Wasted lots of time asking a number of taxis, either they are not going to Ampang area or they wanna burn a hole in my pocket. Finally got a taxi which is willing to go, but ffs, he went around a big turn and the whole ride lasted 1 hour plus and yea, rm30+ as well. Oh well...

Finally finished what we were required in the orphanage, came back home and I felt I had a higher degree of fever. Hopefully I can stay healthy in this important period of the semester.

Benny 0-1 HELP

Study life

2008-05-29T22:31:00.004+08:00

Third week is ending soon and life will get very busy after this since we will be having mid-term exams next week followed by few assignments which will be due quite near with one other. It will be interesting to see how I ~~easily overcome all these easy stuffs~~ can "do or die" in this semester.

I will try my best and hopefully I'm "discipline" to maintain a good momentum in my studies. Good luck to everyone else and remember not to stress too much. Balancing the time to have fun and study hard is important so gambateh bah!

Wonders of Life

2008-05-27T02:01:00.004+08:00

Many of my friends had been facing with life problems lately. It had been a pretty bad period in the last 2 months since I heard nothing but bad news. All I can do is to wish them all the best and to be there for them and lend ~~all my money and body~~ a listening ear to their problems.

Even though life is full of suffering, it is also filled with many wonders. Good and bad things in life is like fibers in a rope that was braided together. If the black fiber refers to bad luck, then the whiter fiber would represent good luck. As you can see, both luck interchange with one another. As such, even though bad things do happen to everyone, but if we keep believing and be positive in any circumstances, good luck will eventually arrive. Always remember that the rainbow appears after a stormy rain and sun will rise after a night of darkness.

So to all my friends, remember to be optimistic. Life is full of wonders, and it is up to us to search for it. In order to find your own wonders, you must first be able to stand back on your feet after every bad experience.

All the best to all!

Meeting with a friend

2008-05-25T23:02:00.002+08:00

It is always good to meet up with a good friend that you didn't see for like, errr... kinda forgotten how long but it should be around 8 months when both of us are staying only like 30 minutes away by driving... Life is weird I guess, but I was very happy to meet up with her today.

Went to buy movie tickets, and we both wanted to watch Ironman but there were only seats very near to the big screen available. As she wanted to watch Indiana Jones, I just take the decision and rewatch the movie, lmao this is the second time I watched it in the space of two days! She felt rather uncomfortable for me to rewatch the movie but most important she liked it cos I didn't manage to celebrate her birthday with her last Wednesday.

We went to Sungai Wang to take lunch, and then went back to Times Square for our movie. Luckily it was a nice movie, or else I would be doozing in the cinema since I only slept like 5 hours the previous day.

After the movie, we both went to the Book Fair in KL Convention Centre, and it was really crowded with people. Didn't manage to browse through in details since I'm afraid my friend might be bored, and I ended up only buying an English-Chinese dictionary for RM28 for me to learn some Chinese.

We went to Jalan Alor or how you spelt it near BB Plaza for dinner where the whole street is selling foods. Ordered quite some stuff and both of us ate quite alot and gained even more weight :(

She was nice enough to drive me home, and I am really glad to meet up with a close friend whom I didn't meet for so long. Thanks for the nice outing...

Movie Festival

2008-05-24T15:05:00.006+08:00

Attended HELP Psychology Dept.'s movie festival today and watched a movie titled "Joe Somebody". The movie itself wasn't anything spectacular, but it carries some messages which were quite meaningful.

What's more important when you're in an hostility situation with another person? To beat the crap out of him physically or to ~~let him beat the hell out of you~~ win over his heart and respect? The protagonist chooses the latter option, and he make up with the bully in the end. Respect is not something which you can demand from others, but its something that others gave to you willingly.

Another message was that some people are trying way too hard to be somebody without realizing they are unique in their own ways, and while some people might not appreciate such uniqueness and criticize that person, but those who knows how to appreciate will certainly value that person's character, and this is much more important than any other views from others that can't appreciate you rite?

As such, conformity can be bad at times and it could cause us to lose the unique self in us. I always believe that people who appreciate you will respect you more when you're trying to be yourself, but in a good way of cos.

Self-handicapping and egos

2008-05-21T23:39:00.006+08:00

Self-handicapping is a strategy by a person that purposely sabotage their actions (self-reported or behavior wise) in order to protect or increase their self-esteem. Dr. Goh just taught about this earlier today and I just realized how much I've use it without me knowing what it was called haha... I was some sort of sore loser in the past and yeah, I don't accept defeat in good grace at times unless it's by someone i deemed worthy.

I carried this weakness with me for quite sometime and it restricted me from trying out on many things due to me wanting to protect my stupid self-esteem, pride and ego, I guess. Guy's ego again... Few days ago, me and a college mate just talked about how guys are full of pride and egoistic and me, being a guy myself have to agree with her. I told her on how guys, well some guys, are stupid enough to value their pride over other things and how pride and ego had stagnant and restrict some guys' growth in this ever competive world.

Many guys (I didn't say all) still assume that evolutionary theory is applicable in all setting or women still need a guy to protect them all the time and provide them their needs such as ~~sex~~ money etc... Many guys still think its the Medival era where they still hold control over women (which we can see why many idiots are still trying to control their gf, even on where they are going) which is totally crazy!!!

Wake up guys, it's the 21st century now and women and men are standing side by side. Aside from few natural differences, women certainly can achieve what men can do in many other areas such as education, workforce etc... In fact women had been catching up in terms of corporate ladder (do you even know that the top 3 Malaysia MSC companies' CEO position is held by women?) and education...

Anyway back to self-handicapping, so yea, I'm trying to change my weakness on that part and I hope to be more transparent with myself as well with others. I did learn that in order to improve, one needs to have the courage to try even when odds are against you. There can be 100 ways to discourage you from trying out a particular thing, but you only need 1 moment of courage to try something out, and that 1 moment could be the hardest to find.

I'm still learning...

A tag

2008-05-20T23:32:00.004+08:00

1. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Can't say either yes or no. I, for one believed that it takes time for people to understand one another first before a special relationship is developed. But on another hand, I also believed that there is a special chemistry that can bring two people together the moment they met and this chemistry does helps to spark their relationship. But only time will tell whether such relationship can develop further into another level.

2. Have you ever felt stupid? Why?

I did feel stupid whenever I reflect back on some mistakes which I've committed in the past. But no one is perfect in this world, and mistakes are the stepping stones in developing a human into a better person.

3. Where is the place you want to go the most?

I love nature a lot, and thus I hope to go to places which has yet to be polluted by human civilization (beaches comes into mind).

4. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?

Everyone around me is healthy and happy, for those are things are priceless and money can't purchase.

5. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?

Please refer to your primary school science book, thx!

6. Do you like being who you are today?

Yup. What more can I ask when I'm so much luckier than so many out there.

7. If you win $1million, what would you do?

I don't gamble except on Chinese New Year, so I don't think I will live to see that day. But if that day does come, I will save it cos I never think before of what I should do with it.

8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?

Yup, it's better to try then to regret for not trying. If that person chooses to avoid you afterwards, then too bad...

9. Are you taken up?

Nope, single and available rite now. Anyone wants anot? haha...

10. What are the requirements you wish from your other half?

No specific requirements. I feel that when you’re in love, you will learn to accept the person as how they are regardless of look, characteristic, etc!

11. Pride is very important to most people. What about you?

Its not about how much pride that brings out a person... Its about how much pride a person can forsake to realise & admit to his/her mistake.

12. Which do you prefer from your other half? Hug or kiss?

Depends on the atmosphere i guess, but either one is good.

13. If you have your faults, would you rather people point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?

I would like people to tell me out without hiding anything.

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?

Those that I care and love.

15. Are you a shopaholic or not?

No money to shop wor? How le?

16. What kind of electronic/gadget you own that you like the most?

My desktop I guess.

17. If you would like to change, which part of your character you would like to change?

Hope to be more discipline in my life haha!

18. What makes you feel disappointed?

Humans that never hesitate to harm one another for their own benefit.

19. If given a chance, would you like to see your future?

Nope. I believe a person shouldn't be controlled by their so called 'destiny', but to conquer them instead.

20. Have you ever done anything that has made you regret for life?

Only time will tell...

Loving yourself

2008-05-19T20:41:00.003+08:00

I've got afflicted with depression one way or another in the past 2 months and lost something i treasured a lot. There are many causes to depression, and one of it would be a person being too pessimistic or negative about themselves in many aspects ranges from physical attractiveness to personal worth in their daily life. In short, most depressed people do not feel loved by others around them and more importantly, they do not loved themselves enough!

Too many of us spent too much time waiting to find our true love or our 'other halves' and hoping that special person will fill our life with loves. However, life is not only about finding your prince charming or dream princess, but also on believing your own worth in this world and loving yourself is one of the most basic steps to create love in a person's life.

There should always be a balance between loving oneself and loving others, and thus, my friends, always remember to reserve love for yourself. Always believe you can make a difference to those around you and feel proud of who you are cos everyone is special in their own ways.

That, to me, is the true meaning of love.

What happened when you tried too hard?

2008-05-18T02:24:00.004+08:00

Me and a friend were locked in a debate earlier regarding the difference between trying and trying too hard to do something. I believed different people had different perception on this matter, but I would like to use an illustration to explain my thoughts.

Imagine in a wushu competition where 2 participants (consider that each has the maximum fighting capabilities of 10 as example) are competing with one another. Normal humans tend to hold back some of their power and never use their full fighting capability to be in the safe zone (let us consider its 8 out of 10 fighting capability here) in order to protect themselves physically and not to overharm their opponent.

Thus, when both participants are using fighting capabilities anywhere from 1-8, they are considered fighting with one another and "trying" to win the match since they are still holding their power to protect themselves and not to over-injured their opponent. But when one participant starts to use a fighting capability between 9-10 which is out of the safe zone, they are no longer considered fighting, but its killing one another instead since they are going all out to finish off one another without any form of control or holding back.

I believed many people had heard rumours about how insane people had superior strength compared to normal people. If u wondered why, what i stated earlier does help to explain cos "insane people in most occassion never hold back and just give all out in something since they hardly or didn't control/hold back their actions at all", and this is why we could never reach the strength level of theirs since we did hold back subconsciously in whatever we do without us realizing at times.

My explanation is quite messy cos its pretty hard to explain in plain words, but what i wanted to point out is that trying to do something is as though as we are trying or trying our best to do something in a safe zone and within our own self conscious control, but trying too hard is like trying to do something using methods that are out of the safe zone, and these methods could bring negative consequences to ourselves or others in some way.

This is why human can be pretty dangerous when they no longer fear death cos they can always "try too hard" to do something which could bring harm to people as they never care about themselves!

Anyway, please bear with me as I could over imagine again. Don't forget to cite me though if you use my example to explain something related to what I said, or else you will be charged of plagarism and Dr. Goh will appear in your dream haha...

Memories...

2008-05-15T22:43:00.000+08:00

I was a prisoner harnessed by your smile,
led by your eyes,moved by your touch,
and totally captivated by your being,
but still,we couldn't make it through the storm,

So now that things have changed,
there will always be a special place
you will hold deep in my heart,
and I will cherish in my memories,
the smile in your eyes,
the softness of your lips,
the sensuality in your walk

I guess there will never by any describing,
indescribably you.

Another bad day...

2008-05-14T23:49:00.003+08:00

Today supposed to be a good day since one of my lil sister is celebrating her b/day with a bunch of friends. I can see everyone had their own joyful time, so I do felt happy for them especially the birthday girl (though it was a delayed celebration). Sad to say I can't enjoy like them due to my own personal problem with my ex, which is a pretty stupid thing to even happen due to the nature of how it happened. Breaking up when both are concerning for each other defies all the freaking theories and logics in this world, what the hell has the world comes to...

Though it had happened already, but I still couldn't accept the fact things happened that way. I felt even more miserable after having some talks with her both yesterday and today. I for one, really feel worry for her on her present well-being as well as future life. I really hope life can be better for her, and sorry Simon, scold me all you want as I know how this event affected you as well. But I'm really glad to know at least u're always there preparing to help me, and you do start to realize it yesterday why this happened. You will always be my good brother in Singapore.

I guess, now I truly understand what it means by loving someone doesn't necessary mean you need to hold onto them, but to share their happiness and they get well in life. I'm not sure if I will ever regret on agreeing on the break-up, only time will tell...

Moody day...

2008-05-13T23:33:00.003+08:00

If you're my current classmates, big chance you will be mislead by the title since today was the released of results of last semester. I'm moody, yes, in fact it's bloody moody, but not because of results (I do admit it plays a small part) since most are nearly as what i predicted, but it was because of a call from someone i concerned a lot.

I won't reveal the content of the call, but nonetheless I was really really affected by it, in fact deeply affected. Just wondering why life had to reach such extent at times, why do nice people had to suffer something they don't deserved at all and why (the million dollar word) has this got to happen. Not sure what to say for now, but I can only hope all is well with her...

And to my fellow classmates, whether you did well or not in the exam, please don't feel too down or happy cos our new semester is already here and there won't be much time to grief/celebrate on something that had passed. Let us work harder this semester and get the grades we wanted to fight for HGPA. Gambateh to all!

New semester begins!

2008-05-12T19:36:00.006+08:00

I will be taking quite a number of subjects this short semester (4+2) which is pretty crazy. But dunno for whatever reason, I was rather calm and didn't worry (or maybe it's still too early due to holiday mood haha) about it for now. In fact, I was anticipating this semester a lot, something must be really wrong with me lol...

Got to know my first course outline which has a rather interesting assignment. But 30% for one assignment means it will be very hard to score on it cos it means we really need to have a very very very very very (urgh, imagine how hard it is with my so many "very") wide scope coverage on it. Social Psychology is one subject I "hope" to get good grade due to my limited below average intelligence and poor memory, not to mention it is very hard to score in the other core paper, Biopsychology. Will be finding the best topic for that assignment by tonight, and to my other friends, gambateh on it and don't forget our promises to do our best in this semester.

I will also be getting my exam result tomorrow, and again, I was rather calm, maybe cos already roughly know what score I will get so didn't really worry alot on it, or rather should say "worry also no use la rite"?

There was one funny event which happened earlier today. Breandan asked a few of us to accompany him to 8TV for some shooting. Me, for one, being simple-minded and not bright just agreed since a friend ask me ma. Who knows he told me later we were required to attend a shooting session, not to mention our face will appear on TV! I was like OMG, but since promised already so can't back out :(

It was a good experience anyway, I got to experience new things which is quite funny in some way haha. Tune in on Sunday to watch though I won't say which time slot or programme :P And yea, as if lying is not bad enough, Breandan also didn't give me any debriefing statement after the shooting! Talk about lack of proper ethical and conduct wahaha...

Went to 1U with a friend soon after the shooting to do a new pair of spectacles which cost around rm250. This semester really makes me bankrupt, cos need to pay a rm5000 college fees later on also. Haiz, no money already la, maybe need to sleep on street liao or even work part time as beggar... T_T

Don't forget to donate a rice bowl for me if that day arrive k?

Anyway, I wish all my friends all the best in this new semester. Just try your best but don't force yourself over the limit. Always try to balance your time for both study and play (yea, play is impt, either to release stress or to rest your mind from college stuff) and don't pressure yourself too much.

加油 bah!

Oops, wrong picture!!

Here we go again, 加油bah!

Out whole day!

2008-05-11T23:00:00.003+08:00

Lately I'm having difficulty to sleep well, cos I only slept like 4 hours a day on average for the past few days. This makes me very tired considering I slept around 6am earlier and woke up automatically at 9am+.

Went out with the 2 ladies to eat brunch, and went shopping for Qing's stuff afterwards. Guess what, I was actually travelling the whole noon with RM10k, from food court to 1Utama and then to Tesco/Curve! Did feel rather pressured haha, since who is crazy enough to do that, but I didn't have a choice since Qing needed to change her money to RM. But since she didn't change all her RMB to RM, so me, acting as a part-time 007 imitation bodyguard that has no salary, no insurance and in summary, NOTHING I will get after accomplishing my mission, needed to keep the money for her for her while she is doing her shopping.

Went to Sunway to take dinner afterwards, hoping to go Yuen buffet since both of us liked steamboat alot. Forgotten to make a booking since I didn't bring the name card with me, and to our dismay upon reaching there, we saw the place is full at 5pm+! OMG, why did people only acted filial when Mother's Day is here, cos normally there should be place during that time even on Sunday.

Went to opposite of Yuen to eat another steamboat, don't really like the shop cos the dishes are rather crappy, and to add salt to wound, they charged us extra by giving a stupid excuse, "Sorry Sir, but today is Mother's Day". I dunno should i laugh or cry when i hear that lame excuse, anyway was too lazy and tired to argue so just paid and went off. Reached home around 10pm, and need to sleep soon cos new semester starts tomorrow!

Some are rather excited, but some did feel sienz cos that marks the end of our sem break. This semester will be tough, but gambateh to all classmates and friends. Let us strive to do well this semester and all the best! See you guys tomorrow!

What a day!

2008-05-11T03:56:00.004+08:00

Wow, today was certainly a busy day! I went window shopping for an MP3 player yesterday and went to Low Yat earlier to buy what was recommended by the online community since there are far too many players out there and I can't make a good choice myself.

Finally bought the SanDisk Sansa Clip 2gb for RM199 and pendrive 2gb for RM29 as I borrowed Ong's pendrive for more than 2 months!! If he were to charge rental for RM 0.50 a day, that would totalled up to more than RM30 haha, but luckily he's kind enough to borrow me without asking anything. Suprisingly, the MP3 is cheaper than what I expected since market price should be near RM230, but the cons is that it took me hours to actually find the best price as well as the one and only shop in Low Yat that actually sell this product! This is how it looks like:

Even though its well worth the time spent, but it reminds me of something "she" said to me earlier this week. "She" commented that I was some kind of perfectionist at times which i truly agree since I am very picky on everything that I do, and this causes me not to try or take up new things easily since I will always want "close to perfection" in all my undertakings, which is bad according to her as this could limit my exposure to new things or experience. I did agree with "her" opinion, and guess I learned something more for now haha. Btw, in case some of you are wondering who is the "she" I'm referring to, I won't really give a damn to tell you haha, but those who knows me will know who she is :P

After buying my MP3, I didn't have the time to test it cause I needed to meet up with Ethel, a friend of mine to go to KLIA to fetch my ex-housemate who is coming back from Beijing. I got to know this ex-housemate of mine during an English class in HELP, and omg, I still can't believe HELP actually requires me to take English classes before enrolling into the current Psychology courses, which is a pure waste of money and time :'(

Me and Ethel reached KLIA around 10:45pm since my ex-housemate, Qing will arrived around 11:00pm. Little did we knew that the staff efficiency is so slow that we waited for around 1 hour before meeting Qing due to poor luggage management and other stuff. Bolehland indeed!

We went to supper afterwards at Murni and chatted and stayed till around 2:00am before going back. Later still need to wake up around 9:00am to have breakfast with those 2 ladies before helping Qing to move her luggage to her new place! That's because all her luggages are actually in my room because she didn't want to take everything back to China and then take everything back to Malaysia. Hey, don't simply think as I'm not those pervert who will scattered her stuffs, even though there are indeed some interesting "things" inside... *evil grin*

Though it's tiring, but it's one happy day since I met back Qing who is a very close friend as well as getting my new MP3 haha.

First posting

2008-05-10T01:51:00.004+08:00

This blog was dedicated to someone special which i promised i will made for her.

Life is too unpredictable, i guess thats why our everyday life is full of suprises and you will never get bored of it. Some are good and some are bad, but at the end of the day we will need to cope up with what happened anyway to survive another day rite?

Alot had happened in the past one month, lost something that i treasured but i got to know myself better now, not to mention to plan for a new direction in life. I, however was glad that I had many friends which i could rely on when i need them the most, imagine some are those I never contacted for years and some I only knew for a short period of time, yet our bond still stayed strong and you offered your help willingly without asking anything.

Thanks to everyone that helped me during this difficult, I can't elaborate how much I appreciate all your help and support. I will forever remember our pledge of friendship, and I will definately be there whenever someone needs it.

New semester is starting in two days time, I made a promise that I will try to fulfill, kinda hard though as I will be taking like six subjects. Wish me all the best, and all the best to everyone as well, be it at life or studies alike.